Funnys!

[Bullet32]

I just thought that I would start a Funny's topic...

If you have a funny joke that you want to share then Im sure we could all use a good laugh, so heres your chance!

Ill get the ball rolling...

Q. What is Brown, has four legs and a D*ck on the middle of its back???

A. A police horse!

Q. Whats the difference between a BMW and an Echidna???

A. The Echidna has the pricks on the Outside!

Hahaha Funny :lol:

Lets keep it going people, a little humour brightens up everyones day!

[Stevie]

you shouldnt have started this! I'm a wealth of terrible jokes!

for example:

A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him. Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God.

The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left..... then to the right..... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.

The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says,

"That boy should have quit while he was a head.

[chintami]

[LTSJayce]

...

The bar falls silent. The  father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says,

"That boy  should have quit while he was a  head.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Groan...

Alright,then:non-"p.c." joke time:

Worlds shortest joke:a baby Harp seal walks into a club...

Speaking of short jokes:two Elephants fall off a cliff:Boom Boom!

A man is running late to work,so he's off down the road in his Skyline(naturally...)in a rush. Cresting a bridge at a larger-than-legal velocity,a Police officer steps out from behind a bush with his radar gun and springs our hero for speeding.The officer,after checking out the youth's licence and car,say "Why the rush,son?"

The youth replies"I'm late for work,officer"

Officer:"What sort of work do you do?"

Youth:"I'm a rectum stretcher"

Officer:"A what?What do you have to do at your work if you're a rectum stretcher?"

Youth:"I start with an a***hole,insert a device until it's 6 inches big,then a different device until it's 2 feet big,and then we finish off inserting another device again until the a***hole is 6 feet large."

Office:"What do you do with a 6 foot a***hole,son?"

Youth:"Put him behind a bush near a bridge,and give him a radar gun!"

[Stevie]

I said they would be terrible! And yours were better? Boom boom? :lol:

[Stevie]

Here another from the bank! (the terrible joke bank)

A man and his wife were seeking a divorce at a local court. But the custody of their child posed a problem.

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the child into this world, she should retain custody.

The man also wanted custody of his child. The judge asked for his side of the story too.

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and argued, 'Your Honour, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?

[LTSJayce]

I said they would be terrible! And yours were better? Boom boom?    :lol:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

As the Frogs would say:"Touche!"

[chintami]

holy shit! thats funny

[Stevie]

Hey I havent heard a joke out of you yet Rachel???

[Bullet32]

Nice Jayce, I like...

A man walks into a bar... You think he would have ducked!

Q. What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?

A. Kick her in the ass!

Oops did I say that out loud?

There's a Wog, a Chinese man and an Australian man stranded on a desert island.

One day they find a lamp and out pops a Genie, the genie says "You have three wishes" so they each take one...

The Chinese man says first "I wish to be home in my own country with all of my fellow country men where can all live together in peace" WOOSH - He dissapears!

Then the Wog says "that sounds good, I wish for all of me fellow country men and me to be together in our home country and live forever in peace" WOOSH - He dissapears!

The Genie then looks at the white Australian man and says "I suppose you want the same thing too?"

The man says "Well... You mean to tell me that all of the Chinese and all of the Wogs are out of Australia?"

The Genie replies "Yes"

The Aussie thinks for moment and then says.... "Ill just have a coke then".

My apologies to any ethnic people out there, Im not racist, it just a joke!

[chintami]

HAHAHHAHA

[chintami]

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.

The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.

She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.

The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"

[chintami]

hehehe

[Bullet32]

HEEHEEHEE She said "spank"

[chintami]

HAHAHHA

[leech_]

lol all funny

[Bullet32]

Should this topic be sticky?... Mabye?

[Stevie]

Sticky? Let me think of a joke that uses the word sticky...

[race_snooze]

um maybe you guys should go read the sticky one in NSW thread

[Stevie]

Shut up kill-joy!

Anyway back to the politically incorrect jokes...

A Somali arrives in Sydney as a new immigrant to Australia. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. Australian for letting me in this country!" But the passer-by says "You are mistaken, I am from Ireland.

The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in Australia. The person says "I no Australian, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops,

shakes his hand and says "Thank you for the wonderful Australia. That person puts up his hand and says "I am from Iraq, I am not an

Australian.

He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you an

Australian "? She says, "No, I am from New Zealand.

So he is puzzled, and asks her, "Where are all the Australians?" The New Zealand lady looks at her watch, shrugs, and says..."Probably at work."

I love immigrants btw! In fact I am one! Still funny though