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Friday Funny

bangahh

By bangahh,
in New South Wales

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bangahh Community Regular

bangahh

Posted
Posted

A lady walks into a Porsche dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns back, there standing next to her was a salesman. "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably, and to try and draw attention away to what she has just done, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?" He answers, "Madame, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit yourself when you hear the price!"

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Majanal Grand Master

Majanal

Posted
Posted

Email I got today people... thought you might enjoy.

Just went through my SMS's and pulled these out, enjoy.

1. He came 2 me 1 nite... explored my body... licked- sucked- swallowed & had his fill... wen satisfied he left... I was

hurt... F***IN MOSQUITO

2. U picked me up.u took me home.u put ur hands around my waist.u took off my top den u put ur lips om mine.THANK GOD im

a bottle of PEPSI.

3. Someday u may lose ur hair.u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good

looks.coz u cant lose wot u don't have!

4. I had a wet dream about you last night .... I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!

5. Whats rough and hairy on the outside and soft and wet in the inside starts with C ends in T and has a U & a N in it?

.... Answer - a coconut u pervert.

6. What is 10 inches long- 2inches thick and starts with a p??? A really good crap

7. Last nite i wantd u.needed u so badly dat it hurt.wantd 2 taste u.i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me...but

i couldnt find u.u stupid.. PARACETAMOL!

8. I think i should tell you what people are saying behind your back.……. Nice Ass!!!!!!

9. It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant

that these 3 men should never meet.!

10. Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

11. At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping

& 1 stupid fool is reading my text!

12. The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2.If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on

you?

13. I want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down &

den... i lauf again

14. THE NHS REGRETS TO INFORM U THAT UR BIRTH WAS AN ACCIDENT.PLEASE REPORT TO UR NEAREST HOSPITAL TO BE PUT DOWN.WE APOLOGISE 4 ANY INCONVINIENCE!

15. I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!

16. I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.It was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable.I was supposed 2buy it4u till i

realised it was my own REFLECTION

17. You’re Attractive Gorgeous Sexy Intelligent Smart Charming Sophisticated Fit Kind & Generous. In fact you’re becoming

more like me everyday!

18. 4 REASONS Y DOGS R BETTER DAN WOMEN 1)dogs obey wen u shout at dem 2)dogs dont shop 3)u can giv away ur dogs children

4)any guy can get a good lookin dog!

19. Y WOMEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)no one really understands dem 2)all ur mistakes r stored in their memory 3)u find urself

spendin all ur money on accessories for dem!

20. A train is bout 2 crash!A frantic virgin strips off & says "can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die?" So a man

takes off his clothes & says "iron these!"

21. NEWSFLASH...scientists have made a breakthrough & discovered that the female gender carry intelligent

cells.unfortunately 95% of them spit it out!

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