lilmike86

One day a little boy walked in on his parents doing it and asked what they were doing. The parents' reply was that they were making fish sticks. So the little boy left it at that. A few nights later the little boy walks in on them again, and this time he asks, "Are you making fish sticks again?" The parents both reply yes. The boy remarks, "Well, mom, you have a little tartar sauce on your mouth."

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin , Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO. If you don't send this to five old friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.

I attended a party this past weekend. After checking out all the well-dressed guests at the party, I spotted an attractive woman (standing alone) across the room. When I approached and asked her name, She coyly replied... "Carmen." Trying to maintain some sort of conversation with her, I responded with "That's a beautiful name, Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. "I gave it to myself, because it reflects the things I like most in the world - cars and men." Then she asked, "What's your name?" "Golftits," I replied.

A blonde and a brunette decided to rob a bank. They quickly devised a good plan and they put their plan to action. The brunette drove up to the front of the bank that they had decided to rob. She turned to the blonde and asked her, "Now, do you remember what the plan is?" The blonde sighed and replied, "Yeah, yeah, I remember..." The brunette went over the plan once more and let the blonde out to do her stuff. Before the blonde could shut the door, the brunette yelled out, "Be sure to be in and out in no more than 5 minutes!" The blonde ran inside and the brunette waited in the car... and waited... and waited... and waited... and waited. After waiting for so long in the car, the blonde bursts out of the bank's doors, the alarm blaring loud enough to wake everyone up. The blonde was lugging a bank safe behind her by a rope tied around it. A security guard ran out of the bank, his pants down around his ankles and attempting to reach his gun. The blonde breathed heavily as she tried to put the safe in the car but finally just gave up and dropped the safe behind. She ran into the passenger seat and pulled the door shut, the car already moving. The security guard yelled, "Stop! Stop!" while the pair drove off, leaving the safe with rope tied tightly around it behind. The brunette frantically asked the blonde, "What the hell happened in there?!?" The blonde was panting and turned to the brunette and choked out, "What do you mean? I followed the plan exactly!" The brunette paused and yelled, "YOU IDIOT! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TIE UP THE GUARD AND BLOW THE SAFE!"

A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled. "We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" "No... it's because you're 25."

A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop. The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her that all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out. After 15 minutes of this, the blonde's blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing. "I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working." "Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!"

ahahaha what a pimp!

hey, now i remember you..........i mean............shit! *walks out of room*

this now applies to whoretown! got that bishes!!!

lol i like it! i'd put it in my sig, but i keep getting in trouble for having moving objects

i got a job for you. you get free training and a suprise at the end

lizard would win in a mud wrestling contest, no problems is average, stompin mike wins always. no contest aki is the cutest. cant get over that, plus she is hot!!!! no, mine are! lee, shane, john, marc, troy and all the other bitches! you aint got nothin on my hoes! yet again. more proof that i am the answer to all of lifes problems* *your problems do not matter, only mine, therefore statement is true and correct within legal bounds. does not cure homosexuality unless paid, or cancer, too lazy. Conditions apply. dammit! i've actually had to work today this sucks. you guys must have been batting off like crazy with out me here! you all sore?

cya later then still not me

still same thing, but funny none the less

i can only see them in reply window

my apologies then

arthritis gettin to ya andy

my best was 196, but i had to whore for a good few hours straight damn that sounds wrong andy, your getting old, go have a nanna nap you old fart!!!!

dont forget marc as well..........oops, i mean............look a unicorn! haha must be troy

i know what you mean, she's been kicking everyones ass. it sucks

no, just dont damage it and you'll be fine. if you do, then you see a lot of stuff that really really sucks dont damage it, you'll cry! bahahahahaha i needed that to prove that my staff are as bad as the average woman! yes, i win again! uh oh andy, looks like you getting a beating tonight like karen said before. you will have a lot of trouble trying to offend me people, i'll just tune out and ignore you good luck though

all good, its washable yeah the price is right, but the 275 is the security depsoit i told you about, they'll do that when you come in. thats what you need the Credit card for. you get it back, its just held for a few days and then released. like a bond at a hotel. i'm off to lunch. lee if you got any probs call me and i'll explain it

here you go i didnt leave any mess did i? shit!! run!!!!! hey, screw you hippy! i was here, just dealing with someone at the time. landscaping supplies arrived for my office, i was trying to dump them somewhere so i could get back to whoring

it has hasnt it! thanks lee morning karen lol bryn you got