Jump to content
SAU Community

Enzo's tafe Exam -Joke

Pva_Glue

By Pva_Glue,
in Western Australia

 Share

Recommended Posts

Pva_Glue Grand Master

Pva_Glue

Posted
Posted

I got this on my e-mail...

I am pretty sure its real people's name in WA car secene...

anyway enjoy.... :(

exam start

1. if mario fits a monster tacho to his te gemini,

how much quicker will it go down the quarter mile

at the multiplex on friday night?

2. if stacey (who is 16) is only allowed to go out

for 8 hours on a weekend and on friday night she

goes out with her 14 cousins to paramount for 3 hours,

how long can she go to south terrace for a coffee on

sunday night?

3. mohammed has 7 children and gets $600 a week from

social security, if he goes to the tab and puts

half on a donkey in the 5th race at ascot that

paying 22 to 1 because ali says it's a fix, how

many stolen car stereos does he need to sell

when the horse fails to finish?

4. jim has just got a big payout from workcover for a

bad back, does he:

a: spend the money on a holiday back home to greece

b: use the money to renovate his spearwood house

c: go to the casino and try to double it.

5. george is going to the metros underage disco on

saturday, will he get in easier if he wears his

kappa tracksuit or his adidas tracksuit?

6. mario and his mates are going cruising down cappuccino

strip on friday night, how many stone chips will his

car get if he doesn't fit his car bra?

7. how much quicker will ali's vk commodore go if he

fits the stolen vl turbo badge on it and shifts the

number plate to the side so it looks like he's

running an intercooler?

8. from how far can you hear ricky martin being played

in jim's valiant if he has just fitted 2,500 watt

amps and twin 15 inch subwoofers?

9. milano wants to go to time on saturday night, how

many cousins does he need to take with him in case

he gets thrown out and wants to fight the bouncers?

10. steve's mates are going down to cottesloe beach for

the day. how much gel will he need to take with him

if he goes into the water for a swim and still wants

to look cool at the cottesloe pub later?

11. how many chicks does jimmy need to say he scored on the weekend if he

wants to sound cool to his work mates at ford on monday?

12. spiro has got a big date on saturday and wants to

look ripped in his skin tight lycra top. how much

will he need to bench press at the gym on friday night?

13. part a:

nick's 6 mates want to go to fremantle in his vk

calais 5.0ltr. how much petrol money does he need to

get off each guy if he's running a 3000rpm stall

and 4.11 diff ratio?

part b:

if they cruise down to south terrace, how many times

will they get called wog's?

part c:

on the way, how many drags will they have against

xd falcons?

14. who should maria go out with this weekend if:

a: george is a dj and drives a gemini

b: mario works for his fathers concreting company

and drives an xf ute with a big block

c: john who's unemployed but can get drink cards

at chasers

15. if con works in a fruit shop in canningvale how

much overtime will he need to do to pay ali the

delivery driver for the hot 18inch simmons wheels

he just scored?

16. part a:

ngyun's parents just bought him a brand new

honda civic. he has $2000 to spend on after-market

parts for his car, what should he buy?

a: a full 4inch stainless exhaust with a turbo tip

b: 18 inch auscar wheels and 25 series tyres

c: a rear nascar wing

d: a mugen racing sticker pack

part b:

how many stuffed toys should he glue to the dashboard:

a: less than 10

b: more than 10

c: more than 20

part c:

how much quicker will the car go if he colour codes

the mirrors, the brake rotors and wind-screen wipers?

17. mick wants to put a jim beam sticker or a porn star

sticker on his car. which one will get him more roots?

18. gino has 7 stocking garters hanging off his gemini's

rear vision mirror. how many more weddings will he

need to go to until he can't fit anymore on it?

19. if giovanni chops the springs in his parents new

falcon xr8, how many times a week will he get

hassled by the cops if he puts 90% limo tinting

on the windows as well?

20. how much better will george's stereo system sound

if he puts an alpine sticker on the back window of

his bluebird?

21. part a:

voula shares a room with her 3 older sisters. how

much will she need to bribe her sisters if she wants to

sneak out and go metros on saturday night?

part b:

how many times a week does her father need to unblock

the sink in the bathroom?

22. if joe goes to the wine bar every friday and saturday

night for a month, how many condoms do you think he

will need:

a: less than 10

b: more than 10

c: none because he won't pull a root

23. rosa wants to upgrade her phone from an ericcson to

a nokia because they are much cooler, which one should

she go for: the 8250 or the 8210?

24. it's nearly summer and guido, 19 and is worried about

the hair growing on his back. should he:

a: shave it

b: wax it

c: get electrolysis like his sister

d: leave it because his mates say chicks like hairy men

25. pinas parents just bought a new lounge room suite.

how long does the plastic stay on it?

a: 1 year

b: 2 year

c: never comes off

26. mohammed wants to drop a burnout at tuart hill

mcdonalds. how many rpm will he need to get to

before he drops the clutch if his fat cousin is

in the back seat?

27. part a:

mario is going to heat on saturday night. how tight

will his new hipster pants have to be so the door

bitch wont check his id?

part b:

how much brut 33 aftershave should he wear?

28. ali's friend just bought a pro stock gemini that

pulls 13 second quarters with a stock 1.6 ltr

engine. how many gauges does he need to complement

the 4inch exhaust he has just hose clamped to

the old 1.75 inch system:

a: 2

b: 3

c: 4 or more.

29. part a:

khalid wants to look like a homeboy from la.

does he wear his cap backwards or forwards when

he goes to carousel friday night?

part b:

how low does he need to wear his pants?

30. if soula leaves school at 14 to be become a

beauty therapist, how long will she need to

work before she saves enough money to go

on a holiday to greece?

31. how long does it take fadi and his mates to strip a

hot subaru wrx?

32. if stirling macedonia loses this weekend in

the soccer, how many car windows will be smashed

after the match?

33. con and his mates are going to the kick boxing

fight at the burswood dome. how many fights will

they try and start in the line to the rise

night-club afterwards?

bonus questions:

34. how many holden commodores are there in fremantle?

35. how many guys named joe are there in fremantle?

36. how many guys named joe are in fremantle that

drive commodores?

end of exam

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/26792-enzos-tafe-exam-joke/
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing


  • Latest Posts

    • MissMintyR33
      R33 persistent issues. P/steering and lag/misfire

      By MissMintyR33 · Posted

      I thought that might be the case, thats what I'll start saving for. Thanks for the info 
    • jtha7
      Strange issue RB25DET wont start

      By jtha7 · Posted

      Ps i found the below forum and it seems to be the same scenario Im dealing with. Going to check my ECU coolant temp wire tomorrow    From NICOclub forum: s1 RB25det flooding at start up Thu Apr 11, 2013 7:23 am I am completely lost on this. Car ran perfectly fine when I parked it at the end of the year. I took the engine out and painted the engine bay, and put a fuel cell with an inline walbro 255 instead of the in tank unit I had last year. After reinstalling everything, the engine floods when the fuel pump primes. if i pull the fuel pump fuse it'll start, and as soon as I put the fuse back in it starts running ridiculously rich. I checked the tps voltage, and its fine. Cleaned the maf as it had some dust from sitting on a shelf all winter, fuel pressure is correct while running, but wont fire until there is less than 5psi in the lines. The fuel lines are run correctly. I have found a few threads with the same problem but no actual explanation of what fixed it, the threads just ended. Any help would be appreciated. Rb25det s1 walbro255 fuel pump nismo fpr holset hx35 turbo fmic 3" exhaust freddy intake manifold q45tb q45 maf   Re: s1 RB25det flooding at start up Fri Apr 12, 2013 5:07 am No, I didn't. I found the problem though. There was a break in one of the ecu coolant temp sensor wires. Once it was repaired it fired right up with no problems. I would have never thought a non working coolant temp sensor would have caused such an issue.
    • jtha7
      Strange issue RB25DET wont start

      By jtha7 · Posted

      Hi sorry late reply I didnt get a chance to take any pics (my mechanics on the other side of the city) but the plugs were fouled from being too rich. I noticed the MAF wasn't genuine, so I replaced it with a genuine green label unit. I also swapped in a different ignitor, but the issue remains. I've narrowed it down a bit now: - If I unplug and reconnect the fuel lines and install fresh spark plugs, the car starts right up and runs perfectly. Took it around the block with no issues - As soon as I shut it off and try to restart, it won't start again - Fuel pressure while cranking is steady around 40 psi, injectors have good spray, return line is clear, and the FPR vacuum is working. It just seems like it's getting flooded after the first start I unplugged coolant sensors to see if its related to ECU flooding but that didnt make a difference. Im thinking its related to this because this issue only started happening after fixing coolant leaks and replacing the bottom part of the stock manifolds coolant pipe. My mechanic took off the inlet to get to get to do these repairs. My mechanics actually just an old mate who's retired now so ill be taking it to a different mechanic who i know has exp with RBs to see if they find anything. If you have any ideas please send em lll give it a try. Ive tried other things like swapping the injectors, fuel rail, different fuel pressure regs, different ignitor, spark plugs, comp test and MAF but the same issue persists.
    • GTSBoy
      Freddy Plenum vs Genuine options RB25

      By GTSBoy · Posted

      My return flow is custom and puts the return behind the reo, instead of at the bottom. All my core is in the air flow, rather than losing some of it up behind the reo. I realise that the core really acts more as a spiky heatsink than as a constant rate heat exchanger, and that therefore size is important.... but mine fits everything I needed and wanted without having to cut anything, and that's worth something too. And there won't be a hot patch of core up behind the reo after every hit, releasing heat back into the intake air.
    • Murray_Calavera
      R33 persistent issues. P/steering and lag/misfire

      By Murray_Calavera · Posted

      There is a really fun solution to this problem, buy a Haltech (or ECU of your choice) and put the MAF in the bin.  I'm assuming your going to want more power in future, so you'll need to get the ECU at some stage. I'd put the new MAF money towards the new ECU. 
×
×
  • Create New...