Trying to ween her off it? You shouldn't need to try get her over her ex. If she isn't over him she isn't ready for a new relo.
I can understand that you would like to make it work and trying everything you can, but you're only going to end up hurt, or constantly frustrated angry. It ends up changing you as a person and heavily effects the more important people around you.
I've been in the same situation man and its really not good. I only realized how f**ked it was when I got out of it and saw it from the outside as a whole.
Trust me, I think you have dodged a bullet.