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The Art of Being a Boozehag

Boozehag is a NewZ ealand invented word, but a global concept. A Boozehag is one who engages in excessive behaviour while partying, and generally makes a disgrace of themselves - in a good way .

Boozehag bagging doesn't involve just alcohol. It is a way of life. On a night out, a Boozehag should participate in at least 5 of the following:

- Pre drinks before going out is not an idea, it is a necessity.

- Drinking Smirnoff blacks because they have 1.9 standard drinks, or Coopers Sparkling, cause it is 5.9% alcohol

- Taking at least 60 photos of yourself.

- Sustaining an unidentified party injury.

- Drinking at least a bottle of wine or cheap champagne BEFORE leaving the house.

- Crying/stacking it/booting/all three.

- Purposely not eating before you hit the bars, cause it'll slow down the drinking process. This is also affectionately referred to as "eating is cheating".

- Drinking more than 10 jagerbombs.

- Putting your bags on the floor and dancing around them so you have more movement.

- Taking a hip flask of vodka in your handbag or jacket.

- Being that person on their way home as people are jogging, and going to work/school.

- Doing the walk of shame, either home or out of the club, with shoes in hand.

- Eating in at least three of the major fast food outlets in the course of one evening.

- Starting up deep conversations with randoms while waiting in the toilet queue.

- Dancing on any available table, not discriminating against pool tables of course.

- Requesting so many songs that the music is like your own play list, and the DJ hates you.

- Screaming I LOVE THIS SONG for every song.

- Having the bouncers, bar staff and DJ all know you at your local.

- Inventing new dance moves, such as the moose, the elephant.

- Bringing out old dance moves such as the monkey, the nut bush or the sprinkler.

- Clearing the dance floor and getting strange looks from everyone that's not you.

- Writing things on yourself and everyone around you.

- Telling random people that they're hot. And more importantly, that you are.

- Taking photos of yourself and your friends on the toilet.

- Sucking face with a random on the dance floor. And then another. And another. And, well, you get the picture...

- Starting drinking at 3pm.

- Continuing till the next afternoon.

- Wearing a skirt so short you need to wear shorts or special undies underneath.

- Staying somewhere till you get kicked out, then catching a cab to somewhere else that's 5mins down the road.

- Walking out of a club and the sun is up, the birds are chirping, and noticing that the person you've been suck facing is not as attractive as you thought.

- Choosing a corner to dance in so you can dance like mo fo's in your own privacy.

- Making emotional phone calls to friends you haven't spoken to in a while or family or worse and ex boyfriend/girlfriend!

- Getting into serious conversations with cab drivers that end with you mocking and insulting them.

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OHHH THOSE!!!!

...yeah never had one :P

And do you know what your missing out on? Having no money faster than normal, thats what, they aint that potent.

I knock back 2 YAY GIR MY STIRS and red bull and a glass of Wild the sphincter of the universe and Coke to go

Edited by Topaz
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