Sorry for the delayed reply, but I have been in lock-up.
[insert mrs doubtfire voice]
After reading your success with the above methods I promptly went out to try them.
I grabbed a heavily iced cake, face planted in it, put on my broad minded persontiest clothes, then went out to my skyline(thats right boys, a lady*cough* in a MODIFIED skyline!), pulled a brake light globe out and hit the streets.
Not long after hitting the freeway I was pulled over by an officer on a motorcycle- Time to test these advertised methods!
Officer: Are you aware you have a brake light out?
Me: No(yes), do you mind if I hop out and take a look?(ensuring I have skin hanging out in all the appropriate areas, beached as)
Officer: Well yes I do mind *takes out pad*
Me: Is that for my number?
Officer: Its for A number!
Me: What number is that officer?*fluttering eyelids, cleavage out*
Officer: A FINE!*looks like they are about to puke*
Me: Oh no!
*Realsing my efforts have failed, I am now trying the next method*
Me: Oh my officer, have you looked at that lovely moon this evening? It matches your shiny white motorcycle, and your lovely tan!
*Officer turns red at the moon-tan refference*
Officer: Time for you to come with me!
Me: A date? Am I out of my fine?
Officer: No, I am locking you up on suspicion of prostition pending a mental health assesment!
Me: But officer, I'm from the country, we don't belive in self-respect!
Officer: Woman, this is 2010, grow up!
*I now get dragged off for a night in lockup hence the delayed response*
Please help, Am I doing it wrong?