Jump to content
SAU Community

Recommended Posts

A lady walks into a Porsche dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns back, there standing next to her was a salesman. "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably, and to try and draw attention away to what she has just done, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?" He answers, "Madame, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit yourself when you hear the price!"

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/22181-friday-funny/
Share on other sites

Email I got today people... thought you might enjoy.

Just went through my SMS's and pulled these out, enjoy.

1. He came 2 me 1 nite... explored my body... licked- sucked- swallowed & had his fill... wen satisfied he left... I was

hurt... F***IN MOSQUITO

2. U picked me up.u took me home.u put ur hands around my waist.u took off my top den u put ur lips om mine.THANK GOD im

a bottle of PEPSI.

3. Someday u may lose ur hair.u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good

looks.coz u cant lose wot u don't have!

4. I had a wet dream about you last night .... I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!

5. Whats rough and hairy on the outside and soft and wet in the inside starts with C ends in T and has a U & a N in it?

.... Answer - a coconut u pervert.

6. What is 10 inches long- 2inches thick and starts with a p??? A really good crap

7. Last nite i wantd u.needed u so badly dat it hurt.wantd 2 taste u.i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me...but

i couldnt find u.u stupid.. PARACETAMOL!

8. I think i should tell you what people are saying behind your back.……. Nice Ass!!!!!!

9. It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant

that these 3 men should never meet.!

10. Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

11. At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping

& 1 stupid fool is reading my text!

12. The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2.If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on

you?

13. I want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down &

den... i lauf again

14. THE NHS REGRETS TO INFORM U THAT UR BIRTH WAS AN ACCIDENT.PLEASE REPORT TO UR NEAREST HOSPITAL TO BE PUT DOWN.WE APOLOGISE 4 ANY INCONVINIENCE!

15. I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!

16. I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.It was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable.I was supposed 2buy it4u till i

realised it was my own REFLECTION

17. You’re Attractive Gorgeous Sexy Intelligent Smart Charming Sophisticated Fit Kind & Generous. In fact you’re becoming

more like me everyday!

18. 4 REASONS Y DOGS R BETTER DAN WOMEN 1)dogs obey wen u shout at dem 2)dogs dont shop 3)u can giv away ur dogs children

4)any guy can get a good lookin dog!

19. Y WOMEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)no one really understands dem 2)all ur mistakes r stored in their memory 3)u find urself

spendin all ur money on accessories for dem!

20. A train is bout 2 crash!A frantic virgin strips off & says "can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die?" So a man

takes off his clothes & says "iron these!"

21. NEWSFLASH...scientists have made a breakthrough & discovered that the female gender carry intelligent

cells.unfortunately 95% of them spit it out!

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/22181-friday-funny/#findComment-487158
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


  • Latest Posts

    • I dunno about that as a blanket statement. Pitwork is Nissan's "Nissan genuine" thing, and for stuff like timing belts, I have found them to be excellent. Of course, for things like oil filters, you always use proper trusted brands anyway, not whatever the OEM has taken to using.
    • Ahhhh... If you were putting 12V to the led in there, that's likely made it very unhappy. Chances are how you put power, was 12V across an LED that's meant to only have about 20mA through it at peak, and a forward voltage of about 1.8 to 2.4 volts. That circuit is likely only a 3V3 circuit, and will have a resistor in series with the led too. That's my guesstimate on that light, without having touched one.
    • Another vote for installing them and see how you go.  I mean, you already own them, why would you not fit them? 
    • I have had too many of those over the years, my cars have a toolkit or at minimum a cheapy multi tool thing because its too easy to be snookered by some stupid plastic clip that stops you checking the battery terminal isn't loose.
    • Basically, if there is a part# on the nissan catalogue, it is a genuine part. There is a thing called "new old stock" which is stuff made years ago but never sold (or landfilled), but it is super hit and miss what you can buy. Other than some expensive Nismo stuff there is nothing new being made that suits these cars. The only time to be a little careful is (mostly in the US I think, but maybe Japan too), Nissan started rebranding some cheap crap maintenance parts like oil filters as "Pitworks"; stay away from them, if you are buying cheap just buy whatever the local car parts shop carries The three part numbers have an explanation on Amayama: 0V005 is auto, base style 0V015 is manual 0V505 is auto, hectic momo branded ones, maximum F&F points there!
×
×
  • Create New...