Etiquette according to Wardest

[Wardest]

Right guys its time to liven this place up a bit.

Things have been pretty quiet since the big crash so we need to regroup and get that whoring feeling back.

Last time I posted a quasi- therapy thread it seemed to spice thing up but everyone bitched and moaned when I pulled the plug. It seemed they just couldn't grasp the fact that I was trying to have fun and really couldn't have given a fat rat's crack about their problems. If memory serves Meggala was going to get his wang pierced to. No word on how that went.

So this time I thought we could amuse ourselves......, ok I'll be honest, I don't care how amused you all are, everything has only ever been about me.

In any case I'd like to open the lines of discussion on etiquitte.

If you need advice on what the 'correct' thing to do in any situation is, just ask, my guidance comes free of charge and totally honest.

Lets make this a more comfortable world for everyone so we......ok sod you, just for me.

(Serious questions only please. Answers will be a pisstake but its better that way)

[Jamezilla]

With cutlery - is it handles in or out?

I've been a handles-in man for many years... but I often see people do it the other way. Which is correct?

[Wardest]

Originally posted by Jamezilla

With cutlery - is it handles in or out?

I've been a handles-in man for many years... but I often see people do it the other way. Which is correct?

Good question James, this is an old chestnut which keeps cropping up.

The solution is, quite simply, one of physics. It is far easier to impale someone with the blade of a knife or the prongs of a fork than it is to do it with the handle of either. So the answer to your question, when seeking to remove that irritating person from the dinner table, it is very much a case of 'handles out'

Forget about the dishwasher too, blood is best removed with elbow grease.

[adznight]

No, I'm not being racist, I'm a big fan of the black shirt. Now we all know nothing brings out those dark eyes and hair like a nice black shirt but how is this ment to be when your blacks are slowly going grey? This really boils my blood! Help!

[Wardest]

Originally posted by Adzmax

No, I'm a big fan of the black shirt. Now we all know nothing brings out those dark eyes and hair like a nice black shirt but how is this ment to be when your blacks are slowly going grey? This really boils my blood! Help!

This isn't about the shirt is it Adz, huh? No, its about your hair going grey. Look mate, there is nothing wrong with your hair lightening in colour. Some might say that it makes a man look very distinguished to have a silver sheen to his otherwise black mane. However the truth is that while some might say that, few actually do. It just makes you look old.

The only course of action open to you is to get some of that hair dye gear from a chemist and colour your hair.

Otherwise learn to live with it. Look on the bright side, you could be going bald, or impotent or incontinent. This isn't really all that bad.

[doxximus]

i just found a block of land that is 1902m^2 and selling for $269,000, although i am just shy of my deposit, should i resort to robbing a bank? any other sugestion will be fine

[Guest INASNT]

i just found a block of land that is 1902m^2 and selling for $269,000, although i am just shy of my deposit, should i resort to robbing a bank? any other sugestion will be fine

fark thats a big block of land, must be in the bush for that cheap!!

[doxximus]

yeah its a pretty good price its just getting the money, and the view is fantastic

its in a new estate near my house so yeah i guess can say in the bush, but all the estates around it are almost completely finished (full of houses)

this block is right on the edge of a national park meaning no neighbours

so what is your suggestion wardest?

[nakedterror]

I hope Wardest doesn't mind if I step in here as you seem desperate for an answer.

Doxximus - this is an easy one. Gray street St Kilda is ALWAYS looking for fresh meat - you being a country boy and all, you'd have the freshest of the lot. There is a lot of money to be made working the streets as there are a hell of a lot of perverted old men with lots of money. Strange how that works

It may sound unappealing at first, but once you get that first sniff of cold hard cash, you'll be begging for more.

But remember, there is etiquette to be followed, even in the depths of seedy underbelly of Melbourne. You can't just move in, you need a pimp. No Pimp, you could be muscling in on someone elses territory and that means trouble. Cement boots off the end of St Kilda pier style trouble.

So, email me [email protected]

And I'll hook you up.

Of course, the resulting drug addiction will mean the last thing on your mind is a nice bush block in suburbia, but hey - it's a small price to pay for such a good income and you should be thankful or I'm gonna slap you dow..

I mean - when you want out, there are always good samaritans who will help you rehabilitate.

[adznight]

ROFL!!!!!! Hey I'm looking for those extra dollars to fund mods, maybe I should give u call hey!

[nakedterror]

hehe, you have my email address

my terms are 60/40 in favour of me

[adznight]

hehe, you have my email address

my terms are 60/40 in favour of me

I'm gonna make us rich! :Pimp:

[Horus]

maaaaaaate

If you really wanna make money you gotta start importing kids from Asia and Africa and use em for slave labor....If it works for puff daddy why cant it work for you right?

[adznight]

Yeah only problem was I kept finding car bits missing form the containers, the little tackers seem to get hungry on the two week trip?

[nakedterror]

but the good thing is, when people ask you what you do - you can say either "human resources" or "recruitment"

[adznight]

Nice, guys I think we are onto somthing here, now all we need is a marketing manager.

[nakedterror]

erm...

"wtd - marketing manager

Professional reqirements

ability to market our services without "advertising" them

If you don't understand, don't apply

[Horus]

hey I can be your marketing manager!

check out my resume:

Profession: Slave trading

outside interests: Homicide

I think I could fill this role quite nicely...

[nakedterror]

"We regret to inform you that you have been unsuccesful in your application of Marketing Manager for our company. The standard of applicant was very high and we feel that your unique talents leave you slightly over qualified for this position. We will, however, keep you on our files in case a role becomes available in the future.

We gave you a false address so please don't bother seeking revenge.

Regards

nakedterror

P.I.M.P.I.N P/L

[Horus]

looks like its time to involve you in my outside interests....