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A joke for the day

Tosh

By Tosh,
in New South Wales

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madmurf Community Regular

madmurf

Posted
Posted

Johnny(Manager) wanted to screw a girl(Employee) in his office.....but she belonged to someone else...

One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said

"I'll give you a 1000 dollars if you let me screw you...." but the girl

said "NO".

Johnny said "I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I'll be finished by the time you pick it up." She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend.....so she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says "ask him for 2000 dollars, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 mins the boyfriend calls and asks "what happened......"

She said "THE BASTARD USED COINS!!!"

Management lesson: ALWAYS CONSIDER A BUSINESS PROPOSAL IN ITS ENTIRETY!

madmurf Community Regular

madmurf

Posted
Posted

Irish Gas Station

>

>Taking a wee break from the golf circuit, Tiger Woods drove his new Ford

>Excursion into an Irish gas station.

>

>An attendant greeted him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro

>was.

>

>"Top of the mornin' to ya!" the Irishman smiled, doffing his cap.

>

>As Tiger got out of the mammoth vehicle, two tees fell out of his pocket.

>

>"So what are those, lad?" asked the attendant.

>

>"They're called tees," replied Tiger.

>

>"And what would ya be usin' 'em for, now?" inquired the Irishman.

>

>"Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," said Tiger.

>

>"AW! Jaysus, Mary an'Joseph," exclaimed the Irish attendant.

>

>"Those fellas at FORD think of everything!"

madmurf Community Regular

madmurf

Posted
Posted

Naked Hillbilly

>

>Two Indians and a Tennessee Hillbilly were walking through the woods.

>All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small

>cave. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"he called into the cave and listened

>closely

>until he heard an answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off

>his

>clothes and ran into the cave.

>

>The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all

>about. "Was the other Indian crazy or what?" The Indian replied

>"No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they

>holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. ! If they get an answer

>back, it means there's a beautiful woman in there waiting for us."

>

>Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the

>cave,

>stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" Immediately, there was

>the

>answer. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"from deep inside. He also tore off his

>clothes and ran into the opening.

>

>The Hillbilly wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then

>spied

>a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge

>opening, he was thinking, "Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is

>bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine

>women in this cave!" He stood in front of the opening and hollered with

>all

>his might "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"

>

>Like the others, he then heard an answering call, "WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO

>WOOOOOOOOO!"

>With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave,

>tearing off his clothes as he ran.

>

>The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read....

>

>(Are you ready for this??),

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>NAKED HILLBILLY RUN OVER BY TRAIN

>

>

>

>============================================================

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