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skyzerr33

By skyzerr33,
in Western Australia

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Nizmo Grand Master

Nizmo

Posted
Posted

A camel and an elephant meet. The elephant asked the

camel, "Why do you have your breasts on your back?"

The camel, clearly irritated, replies, "What a silly

question from someone who has his dick on his face."

Nizmo Grand Master

Nizmo

Posted
Posted

TOP 10 REJECTION LINES GIVEN BY WOMEN (and what they actually

mean)

10. I think of you as a brother.. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")

9. There's a slight difference in our ages.. (I don't want to do my dad)

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.)

7. My life is too complicated right now.. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)

6. I've got a boyfriend .. (I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's)..

5. I don't date men where I work.. (I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)

4. It's not you, it's me.. (It's you.)

3. I'm concentrating on my career.. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)

2. I'm celibate.. (I've sworn off only the men like you.) and the number 1 rejection line given by women (and what it

really means)

1. Let's be friends.. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It's that male perspective thing.)

Nizmo Grand Master

Nizmo

Posted
Posted

Top Ten Signs Your Relationship Is On The Rocks

10. Her term of affection for you is "You Bastard."

9. She shaves your eyebrows off while you are asleep.

8. She rushes to answer the phone each time it rings, and puts

it down with a hushed, "I can't talk now... I'll call you later."

7. Your picture on her wall has darts in it.

6. She reads books like "Women are From Venus, Men Are Complete

Assholes."

5. She falls asleep during sex. The oral kind. While she's

giving it.

4. When you call her, she answers your voice with, "Oh. It's

only you."

3. She cancels your date because she has to clean out the

septic tank.

2. She makes inquiries about going on the Witness Protection

Program.

And the Number One Sign Your Relationship Is On The Rocks...

1. Her cat pees on you. And receives a reward.

I REALLY MUST RE-TRAIN ZENAH (my cat) !! :P

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