heres one the boys will like
I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And, I
never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their
heart. And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets
thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I
just want you to hold me." I said, "What??"
So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She
explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a "Woman."
I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realise that nothing is
going to happen that night, so I went to sleep. The very next day we went
shopping at a big department store... I walked around while she tried on
three very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I
told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants
matching shoes worth $200 each to which I say OK.
And then we go to the jewellery deptartment where she gets a set of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought that
I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think
she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't
even play tennis. I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK.
She was almost sexually excited from all of this when she said, "I'm ready
to go, let's go to the cash register," I could hardly contain myself when I
blurted out, " No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."
You should have seen her face ... it went completely blank. I then said,
"Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just
when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must
not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."
I figure that I should be having sex again sometime during spring 2005.