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Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

ax53b70p25

By ax53b70p25,
in South Australia

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ax53b70p25 Experienced

ax53b70p25

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heres some more!

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It

means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the

rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobi cs , and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but

gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a

delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just

think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass

over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to

daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such

nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ

ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, pickled cops feet, or tits. Anything else and

you are undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking

lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his

bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you are a mincer. A

straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put

a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different

types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing

out free ass passes. They don't have enough memory to remember all of that

crap. A real man only has enough memory to remember types of beer, engine

capacities, their favourite sports teams players, and the names of porn

stars. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is

you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or

denim, you are fond of a bit of bum fun.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to

tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a

slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that

hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer

8. If you have a girls name, or a name that could be mistaken for a girls

name, like Kelly, Pat, Chris or Terry, then you probably like to play the

pink piccolo.

9. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because

you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you definitely drop anchor in

poo bay.

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mad34 Experienced

mad34

Posted
Posted

No Bull!?

?

A man took his wife to the?stock show and one of the first exhibits they stopped?at was the breeding bulls.

They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,

'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'

The wife playfully nudged her husband?in the ribs and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,?

''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR' ?

The wife gave her husband?a healthy jab and said, 'That's more than twice a week!? You could learn a lot from him.'

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,

'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR' ?

The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, 'That's once a day.?You could REALLY learn something from this one

The husband looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow every time.'

ax53b70p25 Experienced

ax53b70p25

Posted
  • Author
Posted
No Bull!?

?

A man took his wife to the?stock show and one of the first exhibits they stopped?at was the breeding bulls.

They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,

'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'

The wife playfully nudged her husband?in the ribs and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,?

''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR' ?

The wife gave her husband?a healthy jab and said, 'That's more than twice a week!? You could learn a lot from him.'

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,

'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR' ?

The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, 'That's once a day.?You could REALLY learn something from this one

The husband looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow every time.'

ha fckn good one!

ax53b70p25 Experienced

ax53b70p25

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you are a mincer. A

straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put

a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.

ha ha ha ha ha ha haha i think this is the best 1. One night we had a competiton whilst pissed , and it basically was who could come up with the best names for homosexuals some of the names were:

ass bandit

dung puncher

poo pirate

fudge packer

cock smoker

anal bandit

tunnel pilot

chocky donut pusher

ring stingerback

turd burglar

we ended up with

about 40 can't remember the rest got too pissed can any of you guys add to this?

sorry if any of you guys are FAGS, well you'll get over it.

Edited by ax53b70p25

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