Jokes!

[Damo_R34]

A joke i know quite a few here will like!

An aeroplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the aircraft.

The second passenger, Julia Gillard, said, "I am the prime Minister of Australia and I am the smartestwoman in Australian history, so Australia's people don't want me to die." She took the second parachute and jumped out of the aircraft.

The third passenger, Bob Brown, said, "I'm the leader of the Australian Greens and the nation needs my guidance and my boyfriend would miss me." So he grabbed the parachute next to him and jumped

The fourth passenger, ex-PM John Howard, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr. Howard. There's a parachute left for you. Australia's smartest woman took my schoolbag!?

[Damo_R34]

Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain, Jimmi Hendrix, Ian Curtis, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin all died at 27. Justin Bieber turns 27 in 2021. Just be patient.

[cruzin33]

How many students does it take to

change a lightbulb in Adelaide schools?

St Peters

Two - one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.

Elizabeth High School

None - Elizabeth doesn't have electricity.

St Ignatius

Just one. The school captain comes back after finishing year 12 and the headmaster stands by to congratulate him on his achievements.

Parafield Gardens High

None - looks better in the dark anyway.

UniSA

Seventy-six - one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the light bulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter protest.

Gepps Cross Girls

None - These girls don't have time to change a lightbulb, they're too busy looking up each others skirts.

Salisbury High

None - they are all in juvenile jail

Annesly

One - she holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

Cabra Dominican College

Twenty - one to change it and 19 to make a song and dance about the emotion they went through while changing the lightbulb.

Prince Alfred College

Five - one to design a nuclear powered one that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Adelaide using that nuked lightbulb, two to install it, and one to write the computer program.

Modbury Heights

Three - one to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.

Rostrevor

Ten - one to change it, one back up if the first guy's too drunk and the other eight to pray that it works.

St Michael's High School

None - they've finally learnt that when you're that stoned, light hurts your eyes, so it's better just to leave it alone.

Trinity College

Nine Hundred - Changing a light bulb would be like going on an excursion for these guys, so the whole school would turn up for the celebration.

Pulteney Grammar

None - No one wants to get their hands dirty.

St Dominic's

None - It's not that they can't do it, they just look better with the lights off.

OLSH

Thirty - 1 to call the electrician and 29 to flirt with him when he arrives.

Sacred Heart

Ninteen- one to chage it and 18 to play footy when its done

Reynella East High School

Change them? Is that what they're meant to be used for?

Aberfoyle Park

Four - 2 to steal the new bulb, 1 to take out the old one and 1 to throw it at passing cars.

Blackfriars

Fourteen - 2 to look out for a teacher while the other 12 see who can piss high enough to reach it.

St Paul's

Five - 1 to change the light bulb and the other 4 to bash him up cos he's a fag.

Daws Road

Eighty-Two - 1 to take the old lightbulb out and 81 to figure out how to make it work again because they can't afford a new one.

St Mary's

Only one, but it takes 3 others to bitch-slap her because she was getting all the attention.

Walford

Two - 1 to change the light, one to jump around because it's the most exciting thing that's ever happened there.

Mitcham Girls

Ten - 1 to change it, 4 to hold a memorial service for being such a strong female lightbulb that did women-kind proud, and 5 to boast about how they didn't need a man to change their light.

Unley High

One - one uses his mobile to call someone else to fix it, the rest of the boys are at shoppo, smoking and gelling their hair for when the Siena buses arrive...

[Dohmar]

How many students does it take to

change a lightbulb in Adelaide schools?

ROFL... Love the blackfriars one (my old school) - so very true~

-D