Wardest's Friday Discussion

[Wardest]

A travelling salesman knocked on a door one day and was surprised to have it opened by a 10 yr old boy.

The boy was wearing his father’s smoking jacket, holding a tumbler of Scotch which, judging by his unsteady disposition, was clearly not his first for the day. Adding to this already amusing scene was the fact that he was smoking a cigarette and had a copy of Hustler wedged under his arm.

The salesman, trying not to laugh, quickly gathered his thoughts and asked politely “Good morning son, are your parents home?”

The little boy looked indignantly at the salesman and raising an eyebrow, replied in a very accusatory manner,

“now what the phuc do you think”

The morale of this story is - Think before you ask a stupid question.

Which brings me to the point of this thread, what is the dumbest question you’ve ever been asked?

Please refrain from long winded descriptions, keep it short, concise and amusing please.

Rock on fellas.

[doxximus]

i think a stupid one after getting ur haircut...

"did you get a haircut?"

no my ****en afro just fell out over night mofther****er!

[Wardest]

Nice one Dox, some ppl are morons eh?

[Leewah]

When I was in Hawaii back in 96, I was at a bar and a chick asked me after talking to me for bout 1hr, are you from Dallas??

Not such a bad question unless you notice that I have a rather solid Aussie accent and am ASIAN!!!!

[Wardest]

Originally posted by Leewah

When I was in Hawaii back in 96, I was at a bar and a chick asked me after talking to me for bout 1hr, are you from Dallas??

Not such a bad question unless you notice that I have a rather solid Aussie accent and am ASIAN!!!!

Did you nail her?

Anyone that dumb should have been an easy hook up.

[doxximus]

ahahahahahahahaha

[fattdex]

when i first moved to vic from perth, i was sick of getting "do you have [insert thing here] in perth" questions. we were on the freeway one day and a guy asked, "so do you have this sort of traffic in perth?" and i just snapped and said, "No man, we all push each other round in f'gucking wheelbarrows" and everyone cracked up and the driver had a laughing fit and we all nearly died (it was one of those "you had to be there" funnies). yeah. that was a pretty stupid question, and i still get them occasionally.

[Wardest]

I know what you mean Dex. Ppl from Melbourne and Sydney often think every other city is a little country town.

[ApacheX]

sadly, that is true

[Wardest]

Originally posted by ApacheX

sadly, that is true

Apache, please post a stupid question which you have been asked. This will keep the thread ticking over.

[Leewah]

"Do you realise what speed you were doing?"

This is happened multiple times to me.

Of course not. I watch the road when the broken lines become one solid one I ain't got time to check the speedo. I'm a safe driver.

[Wardest]

Originally posted by Leewah

"Do you realise what speed you were doing?"

Good one Dave. What do they expect you to say?

"Yes officer, I know I was speeding, here, hand me your report pad and I'll write myself a ticket"

[x2shy]

Not a really a dumb question but a dumb situation.

Post Sept 11, England changed it's banking laws so that you can't open an account without a valid bill in your name showing your address. I had numerous letter stating my address, that wasn't good enough, needed a bill.

I explained that I could open an account at one address then call the next day and say I moved without any proof. Stupid bank teller, goes "yes, that's right, so what?" Tried to point out that the stupidity in thier policy but he just wouldn't budge. Happened MULITPLE times!!! Stupid english bank laws!

[Wardest]

What a Toss Flog!!! Insane Brits

[Jamezilla]

Ah - so many silly questions from so many silly Americans.

Do you have snow back home? Does it get dark at night in Australia? What's in a bourbon & coke? How long would it take to drive from Dallas to Sydney?

My favourite was from a taxi driver in Palm Springs in Feb this year...

What do you mean you drive on the other side of the road? Don't you hit all the oncomming traffic?

I started crying

[Wardest]

Originally posted by Jamezilla

I started crying

I know what you mean. Just few minutes with an American is often enough time to give a person an Subdural Haematoma.

[Snowman]

Originally posted by Jamezilla

Ah - so many silly questions from so many silly Americans.

Do you have snow back home? Does it get dark at night in Australia? What's in a bourbon & coke? How long would it take to drive from Dallas to Sydney?

My favourite was from a taxi driver in Palm Springs in Feb this year...

What do you mean you drive on the other side of the road? Don't you hit all the oncomming traffic?

I started crying

Taxi driver in Vegas

TD: "Whats the weather like in Austrailia now?"

Me: "Its summer in Australia now so quite hot"

TD: "Really!!? It's Winter here now. So when is your Winter then?"

Me: "Um... June"

TD: "Wow thats when our Summer is! Thats Amazing!"

I cried too - just after I told him to stop at the next corner!

[Leon.T]

I used to work @ a supermarket with uniform and all...I get many old ppl comming up to me and asking 'Hi, do u work here?' Jesus christ...

[Jamezilla]

Haha - the whole north/south hemisphere situation confuses them alot.

I can't believe the number of people (Americans all) who have mentally wrestled with the 'if it's summer here, how can it be winter there - but when it's winter there it's summer here' concept like its some form of time-travel.

My afore mentioned cab driver (bless his simple mind) even used it to rationalise the 'wrong side of the road' idea - in that we were all backwards and upside-down in Australia so it must make sense.

I felt it cruel to mention England and Japan (both Northern hemisphere) also drive on the 'other' side as the realisation there was another country outside of Palm Springs was enough - 2 more may have caused an accident.

Which indeed reminds me of another hapless soul at LAX who couldn't believe I had left Australia on Tuesday evening (EAST) and arrived Tuesday morning LA time. He couldn't understand why everyone didn't buy lotto tickets and become millionaires - being able to know the numbers in advance and all.

[Wardest]

Originally posted by Leon.T

I used to work @ a supermarket with uniform and all...I get many old ppl comming up to me and asking  'Hi, do u work here?'  Jesus christ...

I'm with you there mate. I use to work at a BlockBuster Video joint. After 3 years I learnt only 3 things.

1) I hate children

2) I hate being superficially nice.

3) It doesn't matter how smart some ppl are in the real world, as soon as they enter a retail establishment, they drop 30 IQ points. It seems those who exercise common sense are rarer than we thought.