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A joke for the day

Tosh

By Tosh,
in New South Wales

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Patto- Mentor

Patto-

Posted
Posted

Kiwi walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:

"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."

His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."

The man says: " I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."

Wink Grand Master

Wink

Posted
Posted

There was this boy about 13 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him.

He came up to thedoorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on the door.

When the Madam answered it, she saw the boy and asked what he wanted.

He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it."

The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in.

Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked.

He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?"

Of course the Madam said no.

He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want."

Since the boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the

Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him.

Ten minutes later he came back,still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door.

The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?"

He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter.

After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute teenage boys.

She will then get the disease that I just caught.

When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home.

On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease.

Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter's, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it.

In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease.............

and HE'S the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my FROG.

madmurf Community Regular

madmurf

Posted
Posted

A young journalism graduate from Arkansas had

> gone to work for the New York Times. His first

> assignment was to write a brief human interest

> story.

>

> An idea came to him and he returned to one of the

> most remote areas he knew of in his home state of

> Arkansas.

> Deep in the woods, he came upon a farmers house

> and decided this would be a good place to start.

> He introduced himself to the back country farmer

> and explained why he was there. The farmer,

> Farmer Mahon, agreed to answer his questions.

>

> The reporter asked the farmer what event in his

> life had made him the happiest?

>

> Farmer Mahon replied, "One time a neighbor lost

> one of his sheep. We all formed a posse and found

> it. After we all screwed it we took it back to

> the farmer that lost it."

>

> "I can't print that," said the reporter, "Is

> there another event that made you really happy?"

>

> Farmer Mahon thought for a minute and said, "Yep.

> One time the daughter of another local farmer got

> lost. She was a good-lookin young girl. We all

> formed a posse and found her. After all of us

> screwed her, we took her back to her daddy."

>

> Again the reporter knew he couldn't print the

> story and decided to take a different tack.

>

> He asked Farmer Mahon, "Is there any event in

> your life that has made you really sad?"

>

> Farmer Mahon hung his head and replied, "Well, I

> got lost once."

Kero Mentor

Kero

Posted
Posted (edited)

The Ice Age hits Switzerland

This incredible spectacle you are about to see, takes place in Versoix, a town close to Geneva City, Switzerland.

The water in the background is the Léman Lake.

(Power point Presentation)

Ice_Switzerland_1.zip

Sample images below

post-3069-1138159577.jpg

post-3069-1138159633.jpg

post-3069-1138159663.jpg

post-3069-1138159691.jpg

post-3069-1138159717.jpg

post-3069-1138159741.jpg

post-3069-1138159765.jpg

post-3069-1138159791.jpg

Edited by Kero

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