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  • GTS-t VSPEC

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im talking as a general rule boostzor - it can mean a small companies success. Yes but unfortunately with the big guns they dont have to ansewer to anyone.

So how do u get when your drunk paul? haha become a big tough guy that tries to beat other ppl up or do u get giggly as well?

We have this one company

Ever hear of salary packaging? wel u give up some of ure salary which reduce the amount of taxable income u have. the company takes it direct from payrol and then gives it to ure mortgage car loan whatever every 2 weeks.

The thing is that the banks have been letting this company go into areaers for 2 months and then paying lump sum. So this money is all sitting in a bigass slush fund and gaining interest and its not ever their money. Bastards

I think the govt is catching on.

Some of these stages look frighteningly familiar!

THE FIVE STAGES OF DRUNKENESS

Stage 1 - CLEVER

This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known

universe. You know you know everything and you want to pass on your

knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always right.

And, of course, the person you are talking to is very wrong. This makes

for

an interesting argument when both parties are CLEVER.

Stage 2 - ATTRACTIVE

This is when you realise that you are the most ATTRACTIVE person in the

entire bar and that everyone fancies you. You can go up to a perfect

stranger knowing that they fancy you and really want to talk to you.

Bear in

mind that you are still CLEVER, so you can talk to this person about any

subject under the sun.

Stage 3 - RICH

This is when you suddenly become the RICHEST person in the room. You can

buy

drinks for the entire bar because you have a bottomless wallet. You can

also

make bets at this stage, because of course you are still CLEVER so,

naturally, you will always win. Anyway, it doesn't matter how much you

bet

because you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you

fancy,

in the knowledge that you are clearly the most ATTRACTIVE person

present.

Stage 4 - INVINCIBLE

You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone, especially

those

with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because you are now

INVINCIBLE. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the

people

who you fancy and challenge them to a battle of wits or strength. You

have

no fear of losing this battle, because as well a being INVINCIBLE you

are

CLEVER, you're RICH and you're more ATTRACTIVE than them anyway.

Stage 5 - INVISIBLE

This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this point you can do

anything,

because you are now INVISIBLE. You can dance on a table to impress the

people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot

see

you. You can also snog the face off them for the same reason. You are

also

INVISIBLE to the people who want to fight you. You can walk through the

street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear

you

and because you're still CLEVER you know all the words.

THE FIVE STAGES OF SOBERING UP

Stage 1 - STUPID

As you regain consciousness and begin to enjoy the headache, the

churning

stomach and the cold sweats, you realise that you have lost not only

several

hours of your life but also the ability to concentrate on anything

whatsoever. You are now STUPID and will remain so for a minimum of 12

hours.

Stage 2 - UGLY

Never entirely happy with the effects of the bathroom mirror first thing

you

are horrified to discover that you have now become even UGLIER than you

previously thought possible. Not only have you bloodshot eyes and a

glorious collection of spots but you are shaking so much that your

grandfather probably looks healthier. Unfortunately you are still too

STUPID

to know better than to try and shave whilst shaking.

Stage 3 - POOR

Having crawled out of bed and got dressed you are about to shamble out

the

door when you discover that the money that was to last you the week is

now

missing from your wallet. Being STUPID, you have no idea what happened

to it

but the traces of curry on your clothes although the possibility that

you

might have treated everyone to a takeaway at some point. Alternatively

your

pocket could have been picked or you might have given the taxi driver a

fifty dollar note by mistake. Rationalising that you couldn't possibly

have

been that STUPID and that you would remember being robbed, you come to

believe that you were the only one who bought any food or drinks all

night

and start to loathe all your friends.

Stage 4 - FRAGILE

As you are now STUPID, UGLY and POOR, your consequently FRAGILE

self-esteem

plummets. Your already FRAGILE physical condition ensures that you feel

liable to shatter if anyone even speaks to you.

Stage 5 - CONSPICUOUS

This is the final stage of sobering up. Unfortunately, everyone can spot

this CONSPICUOUS condition and its cause from a great distance. Even

worse,

they know that they can complete your misery by making fun of you, and

that

you are too STUPID to retaliate, too FRAGILE to hit them, too POOR to

bribe

them and too UGLY to hide.

haha giggly paul

Yeah shaun Ive heard of it - eeek doesnt sound smart well once the govt catches on anyway it could be big trouble either that or they'll get away with like so many of the big guys do these days :D

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