Jump to content
SAU Community

Recommended Posts

A girl says to her doctor, "You have to help me. I hurt all over."

She touches her right knee with her index finger and says, "Ow! That hurts."

She touches her left cheek with her index finger and says, "Ouch! That hurts, too."

She touches her right earlobe with her index finger and says, "Ow! Even that hurts."

The doctor says, "Are you a natural blonde?"

She says, "Yes."

The doctor says, "You have a sprained finger."

There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish.

The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island.

The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a black haired woman. The black haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island.

The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how gorgeous the driver was! Drop dead blonde, the works.

"I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am.... Could I see your driver's license...?"

"...License...???" replied the blonde, instantly revealing that she wasn't very bright.

"It's usually in your wallet..." replied the officer.

After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it.

"Now may I see your registration..." asked the cop.

"Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde.

"It's usually in your glove compartment..." said the cop impatiently.

After more fumbling, she found the registration.

"I'll be back in a minute," said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer radioed the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back.

"Ummm.... is this woman driving a red sports car?"

"Yes," replied the officer.

"Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher.

"Uh... yes" replied the cop.

"Here's what you do...." said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff, stand back, and drop your pants..."

"WHAT!!? I can't do that. That's crazy!" exclaimed the cop.

"Trust me..... just do it...." said the dispatcher.

So the cop returned to the blonde, gave back the license and registration, and dropped his pants as the dispatcher said.

The blonde looked down and sighed, "Ohh no... not ANOTHER breathalyzer....

*sings* in the ghe-ttoooooo

lol yeah, basically. just with bogans everywhere.

bogan: "umm yeeeeehhhh, i wonna kno if can *trails of into unknown bogan language*"

mike: "huh?"

bogan: "yeah"

mike: "you want what?"

bogan: "car"

mike: "you want a car?"

bogan: "nah nah, my car"

mike: "your not making sense *curses under his breath*"

bogan: "nah, joomp car"

mike: "jump start?"

bogan: "yeah yeah!"

mike: "no jumper leads sorry."

bogan: "why not?"

*AAAARGH FARKIN IDIOTS!!!!!!*

yeah, thats my job :cool: and whoring on here of course

Edited by lilmike86
lol yeah, basically. just with bogans everywhere.

bogan: "umm yeeeeehhhh, i wonna kno if can *trails of into unknown bogan language*"

mike: "huh?"

bogan: "yeah"

mike: "you want what?"

bogan: "car"

mike: "you want a car?"

bogan: "nah nah, my car"

mike: "your not making sense *curses under his breath*"

bogan: "nah, joomp car"

mike: "jump start?"

bogan: "yeah yeah!"

mike: "no jumper leads sorry."

bogan: "why not?"

*AAAARGH FARKIN IDIOTS!!!!!!*

yeah, thats my job :cool: and whoring on here of course

so you work at a automotive store?

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.



  • Similar Content

  • Latest Posts

    • Reading through the engine service manual their advice is do a cylinder balance test. Unplug one injector at a time and see if the idle drops a consistent RPM. You can also do this using a Consult cable which is easier. They also call for unplugging the power transistor, then with the engine off and the fuel rail unhooked from the manifold verifying that you have good fuel flow (even injection, no dripping/leaks, etc) when you twist the CAS by hand. Also verify the spark by pulling the spark plugs and allowing the plugs to ground and turning the CAS by hand. I would also start doing the sensor checks and idle valve checks in service manual. Make sure the MAF tests reasonably, the intake air regulator is sane, etc. You may have to get new spark plugs.
    • This sounds very old of me, however since buying the Tiguan shit box, my view on shit boxes have changed.
    • I've looked up the parts number (41011AL501). It's around $700 OEM. Usually our Infiniti G35 here in Canada have interchangeable parts with my Stagea but the parts number are not the same. I have looked around and it seems the JDM 2005 V35 Skyline (which is the same as our G35) has the same caliper but I cannot confirm. And I can't find a repair kit. The inner brake pads drags on the rotor, seems to be rusty piston. Thanks for the info by the way
    • This coupled with 6-9 speed autos with ridiculously short gearing is why these modern shitbox cars always seem so fast off the line. If it wasn't for those things, Raptors would not seem fast. The problem we have is there is a driveability gap between a more gentle take off and a wheelspinning sideways launch. The difference between ankle flex required to achieve one and ankle flex required to achieve the other is about 0.5°.
    • Yeah I think I'm also with the opposite here. It's 'hard to keep up with traffic' because in the real world I'm accelerating with 15% throttle and they are pinning it. It feels like I'm being an overt dickhead at anything above 15% throttle, so the car sounds like I'm being an overt dickhead to keep up with/get ahead of traffic when I'm really just trying to drive with traffic. There would be no issue 'keeping up with traffic' if we used the same level of throttle input/aggression to drive around. People really do just drive around with their foot nearly pinned in econoboxes.
×
×
  • Create New...