Jump to content
SAU Community

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 89
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, " 7 feet tall, 350 lbs., 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs. each, Turner Brown".

The small guy just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping and shaking him. He asks are you Ok?" In a very weak voice the little guy says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?"

The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figure I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.

"I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs., have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs. each and my name is Turner Brown".

The small guy says, "Thank God !! I thought you said Turn Around".

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/20449-jokes/page/3/#findComment-438048
Share on other sites

Guest RedLineGTR

NEVER SAY TO A COP

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition

to be a police officer.

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/20449-jokes/page/3/#findComment-438059
Share on other sites

Guest RedLineGTR

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me

a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us

does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no

other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyeslook glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/20449-jokes/page/3/#findComment-438060
Share on other sites

Guest RedLineGTR

A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the

salesman:

"I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen".

The surprised salesman replies: - "But madam, computers do not have curtains...".

And the blonde said: - "Helloooo.... I've got Windows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/20449-jokes/page/3/#findComment-438063
Share on other sites

disclaimer: if you're sensitive to racist/homosexual/violent jokes, skip this posts. if they dont bother you, enjoy.

*a gay couple are home on a friday night bored*

gay guy1: im bored, lets play hide and seek. i'll hide and if you find me, i'll give you a blowjob.

gay guy2: well, what if i dont find you?

gay guy1: dont be silly, i'll be behind the couch

how do you know when an ethiopian is about to throw up?

his family and friends are waiting around with knives and forks in hand

what do u say when u see your TV floating in the middle of the night?

hey Ni--a(gg) drop it

why dont you run over a black man on a bike?

cos it might be yours

why did god give black men big dicks?

cos he put pubic hair on their head

how come there are no good mexicans in the olympics?

cause all the ones that can run, swim, and climb are in america!

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?

a pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

whats the difference between a mexican and a pizza?

a pizza can feed a family of four

Why did the top bloke get fired from the sperm bank?

He got caught drinking on the job

How do you stop a baby from walking in circles?

Nail it's other foot to the ground

How do you get 900 babies into a phone booth?

A blender

whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies?

i don't have a ferrari in my garage

What's the worst part about having sex with a dead baby?

Hearing its spine break

How do you make a baby cry twice?

Wipe your bloody **** on it's teddy bear

how do you make a woman scream for ours after sex?

wipe ur dick on the curtain

whats 12 inches long and garaunteed to make a woman scream?

a dead baby

what's better than winning a Gold medal at the para-olympics?

having 2 legs

What's red and wet and crawls up your leg?

A homesick abortion

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/20449-jokes/page/3/#findComment-441091
Share on other sites

Here is one for you Troy!

There's a fellow who is an avid golfer. Actually he's a golf

fanatic. Every Saturday morning he has an early tee time, gets up very

early and golfs all day long. Well this one Saturday morning, he gets

up early, dresses quietly, gets his clubs out of the closet, and goes

out to his car to drive to the course. It is raining. It's a

torrential downpour.

There is snow mixed with the rain and the wind is blowing

50 mph. He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the weather

channel. From there he finds it's going to be bad weather all day

long. So he puts his clubs back into the closet, quietly undresses

and slips back into bed where he cuddles up to his wife's back, and

whispers, "The weather out there is terrible." To which she

replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out golfing

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/20449-jokes/page/3/#findComment-441647
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now



  • Latest Posts

    • I’m not sure what happened I told them about sonic tunes free OTS tune and the next the I know .. I was booted..   To funny 
    • Yea - I mean I've seen my fuel pump which is decades old and uh, while I'm not saying this with real knowledge... but I sure get the ick at using anything in the fuel system that produced the state of that pump. Many years ago I went through multiple pumps (and strainers) before I dropped the tank to clean it out with extreme violence. I'm talking the car would do maybe 50km before coming to a halt, which resulted in me cleaning out the filter with some brake cleaner and going on my way. None of my stuff ever looked like what came out of your fuel tank. I don't think I'd be happy with it unless every single component was replaced (or at least checked/cleaned/confirmed to be clean here).
    • I'm not going to recommend an EBC pad. I don't like them. Just about anything else would suit me better. I've been using Intima pads for a while now.
    • Agreed, and in particular the earth strap that should go from the subframe to the chassis but it often broken or left off. There is a section in the R32 workshop manual you can follow for troubleshooting if you don't see anything suspicious, and depending where you are (there is no location on your user profile) you should be able to get your hands on a second hand replacement unit still if needed
    • Yeah they mention as a R34 for 2.5 Turbo...but then again thos "small" were also for R34 by that different site. But i look into it and that 310mm EBC is for R34 GTT. And by those you linked the specs are the same 🙂    EDIT: I found these on one site here: DBA 4000 series T3 DBA42304S They are 310mm...and it says are for R34GTT...are there good? EDIT2: ok they have pads too.  What "color" should i get for street use? I dont want/need some noisy ones...(and if they are not that dusty that is good too)
×
×
  • Create New...