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QLD Whoretown...

predator

By predator,
in Queensland

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Nexus9 Grand Master

Nexus9

Posted
Posted

An Australian guy goes into a bar in the Greek Islands. Jill, the Australian

barmaid, takes his order and notices his Australian accent. Over the

course of the night they talk quite a bit. At the end of the night he asks

her if she wants to have sex with him. Although she is attracted to him

she says no.

He then offers to pay her $200 for the deed. Jill is traveling the world

and because she is short of funds she agrees. The next night the guy turns

up again and after showing her plenty of attention throughout the night he

asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. She figures in for a penny

in for a pound - and it was fantastic the night before - so she agrees.

This goes on for 5 nights. On the sixth night the guy comes into the bar,

but this night he orders a beer and just goes and sits in the corner. Jill

is disappointed and thinks that maybe she should pay him more attention.

She goes over and sits next to him. She asks him where he is from and he

tells her Melbourne. "So am I" she says.

"What suburb in Melbourne." "Glen Iris" he says.

"That's amazing" she says, "so am I - what street?"

"Cameo street" he says."

"This is unbelievable" she says, "what number?"

He says "Number 20" and she is astonished.

"You are not going to believe this," she says, "I'm from number 22 and my

parents still live there!"

"I know," he says, "your father gave me $1,000 to give you!"

Nexus9 Grand Master

Nexus9

Posted
Posted

One for the icecream lovers

Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry,"

said the first one. "Me too," said the second. "Let's fly

down and find some lunch."

They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of grassy

ground full of worms. They ate and ate and ate and ate

'til they could eat no more.

"I'm so full I don't think I can fly back to the tree,"

said the first one. "Me neither. Let's just lay here and

bask in the warm sun," said the second. "O.K." said the

first.

They plopped down, basking in the sun.

No sooner than they had fallen asleep, a big fat tom cat

snuck up and gobbled them up.

As he sat washing his face after his meal, he thought,

"I love baskin' robins."

Nexus9 Grand Master

Nexus9

Posted
Posted

Four brewery presidents walk into a bar. The guy from Corona sits down and

says, "Hey, Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The

bartender gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world. "Give me

'The King of Beers,' a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain

spring water. Give me a Coors." He gets it.

The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is

a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you

drinking Guinness?"

The Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking

beer, neither would I."

Nexus9 Grand Master

Nexus9

Posted
Posted

Three men: a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer are helping out on a project. About midweek they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says "Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish."

The hardware engineer went first. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas with no money worries." The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas.

The software engineer went next. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no money worries." The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean.

Last, but not least, it was the project manager's turn. "And what would your wish be?" asked the genie.

"I want them both back after lunch" replied the project manager.

Nexus9 Grand Master

Nexus9

Posted
Posted

An engineering student is walking along when a fellow student arrives on a new bicycle. Impressed, he asks, "Where did you got this beautiful bicycle?"

"Well," the second engineering student says, "A couple of days ago I was just walking along when this georgeous blonde pulls up, hops off the bike, rips off all her clothes, and says 'take what you want'."

The other engineering student nods and says "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Nexus9 Grand Master

Nexus9

Posted
Posted

Three freshman engineering students were sitting around talking between classes, when one brought up the question of who designed the human body.

One of the students insisted that the human body must have been designed by an electrical engineer because of the perfection of the nerves and synapses.

Another disagreed, and exclaimed that it had to have been a mechanical engineer who designed the human body. The system of levers and pullies is ingeniuos.

"No," the third student said "your both wrong. The human body was designed by an architect. Who else but an architect would have put a toxic waste line through a recreation area?"

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