Jump to content
SAU Community

Recommended Posts

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the groin.

Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said "How bad is it doc?.....I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancé is still a virgin - in every way."

The doctor told him, "I'll have to put your willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week."

He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it altogether; ...an impressive work of art.

The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their honeymoon. That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts. She said, "You're the first; no one has EVER touched these."

He immediately drops his pants and replies,......

"Look at this, ...still in the CRATE!"

  • Replies 1.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not

produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to

feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This

stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were

about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven

knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the

toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.

So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a

shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves

had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his

frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into

hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the

broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He

opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas

tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it

a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me

to stick it?"

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now



  • Similar Content

  • Latest Posts

    • Input shaft bearing. They all do it. There is always rollover noise in Nissan boxes - particularly the big box. Don't worry about it unless it gets really growly.
    • For once a good news  It needed to be adjusted by that one nut and it is ok  At least something was easy But thank you very much for help. But a small issue is now(gearbox) that when the car is stationary you can hear "clinking" from gearbox so some of the bearing is 100% not that happy... It goes away once you push clutch so it is 100% gearbox. Just if you know...what that bearing could be? It sounding like "spun bearing" but it is louder.
    • Yeah, that's fine**. But the numbers you came up with are just wrong. Try it for yourself. Put in any voltage from the possible range and see what result you get. You get nonsense. ** When I say "fine", I mean, it's still shit. The very simple linear formula (slope & intercept) is shit for a sensor with a non-linear response. This is the curve, from your data above. Look at the CURVE! It's only really linear between about 30 and 90 °C. And if you used only that range to define a curve, it would be great. But you would go more and more wrong as you went to higher temps. And that is why the slope & intercept found when you use 50 and 150 as the end points is so bad halfway between those points. The real curve is a long way below the linear curve which just zips straight between the end points, like this one. You could probably use the same slope and a lower intercept, to move that straight line down, and spread the error out. But you would 5-10°C off in a lot of places. You'd need to say what temperature range you really wanted to be most right - say, 100 to 130, and plop the line closest to teh real curve in that region, which would make it quite wrong down at the lower temperatures. Let me just say that HPTuners are not being realistic in only allowing for a simple linear curve. 
    • I feel I should re-iterate. The above picture is the only option available in the software and the blurb from HP Tuners I quoted earlier is the only way to add data to it and that's the description they offer as to how to figure it out. The only fields available is the blank box after (Input/ ) and the box right before = Output. Those are the only numbers that can be entered.
    • No, your formula is arse backwards. Mine is totally different to yours, and is the one I said was bang on at 50 and 150. I'll put your data into Excel (actually it already is, chart it and fit a linear fit to it, aiming to make it evenly wrong across the whole span. But not now. Other things to do first.
×
×
  • Create New...