Jump to content
SAU Community

A joke for the day

Tosh

By Tosh,
in New South Wales

 Share

Recommended Posts

^De_LiL_Devil^ Contributor

^De_LiL_Devil^

Posted
Posted

not sure if u heard this one but any way

Lizard is in a bar drunk as anything and starts big mouthin "i can take u all on give me ur best shot" etc etc

so a bear walks up to him and says "mate just calm down"

lizard tells him to make him so they go out the back and have a huge punch up. lizard walks back in bear dont.

anyway .. lizard starts up again so this time a lion tells him to calm down and the lizards like "Make me"

so they go out the back lion pulls up his fur and turns to find the lizard.

Lizard walks up with a huge monstrous T-Rex follwoing him. lizard points to the T-Rex and says "meet my cousin"

  • Replies 1.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Posted Images

Patto- Mentor

Patto-

Posted
Posted

Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients & felt guilty all day

long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The

guilt & sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while

he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:

"Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner

to sleep with one of their patients, you won't be the last, & you are

single. Just let it go.."

But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to

reality,

Whispering ......

"Dave ........

.............you're a vet."

Patto- Mentor

Patto-

Posted
Posted

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

FACTS

1. Japanese eat very little fat, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Aussies, British or Americans.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Aussies, British or Americans.

3. Africans drink very little red wine, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Aussies, British or Americans.

4. Italians drink large amounts of red wine, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Aussies, British or Americans.

5. Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Aussies, British or Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

BazaR33 Collaborator

BazaR33

Posted
Posted

The lone ranger and Tonto are out riding on the planes one day when Tonto gets down off his horse and puts his ear to the ground and sayas "buffalo come!"

The lone ranger asks him "how can you tell?"

Tonto replies "face sticky!!"

shaolin Grand Master

shaolin

Posted
Posted

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the plains one day, when Tonto suddenly cocked his ear at a passing falcoln's cry. "Kemosabe... Apache to East!" he whispered.

The Lone Ranger looked to his faithful companion. "What do we do?"

Tonto pondered a moment. "We ride West!"

After riding a short while, Tonto again paused, searching the horizon with his eagle-sharp eyes. "Kemosabe... Apache to West!"

The Masked Man looked once again at his friend. "What should we do?"

Tonto scratched his head in thought. "We ride North!"

After a brief ride, Tonto stopped to scent the breeze. "Kemosabe... Apache to North!"

"What do we do now?" his companion asked.

Without hesitation, Tonto replied, "We ride South!"

Within minutes, Tonto reigned in his horse and dropped to the ground. Placing his ear to the earth, he listened intently. "Kemosabe... Apache to South!"

Worried, the Lone One asked him, "NOW what do we do?"

Tonto thought hard for a moment, his eyes squinting in concentration. Then his face lit up. "What do you mean "WE", White Man?"

shaolin Grand Master

shaolin

Posted
Posted

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rode into town. It was hot, so they stopped at the saloon for a drink. After a few minutes, someone came in and said, "Who does that white horse out there belong to?"

"Why, that's my horse, stranger," said the Lone Ranger.

"I just thought I'd let you know that your horse is sweating up a storm out there. He's been ridden pretty hard, and if you don't cool him down proper, he's going to turn sick on you."

"Tonto, you know what to do. Could you take care of Silver for me?"

"Alright, Kemosabe." And Tonto went out and started running in circles around Silver, waving his arms back and forth as he ran. (An old Indian trick for cooling a horse off, don't ya know.)

A few minutes later another man came into the saloon and asked, "Who does that white horse belong to?"

"Why, stranger, that's my horse," answered the Lone Ranger.

"Well," said the man, "you left your Injun running!"

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing


  • Similar Content

  • Latest Posts

    • GTSBoy
      What brakes on R34 GTT(Europe)

      By GTSBoy · Posted

      I would just put EBC back on the "I would not use their stuff" pile and move on.
    • Duncan
      What brakes on R34 GTT(Europe)

      By Duncan · Posted

      Can I suggest you try EBC directly again and link them to as many competitor catalogues as you can to show their listing is incorrect, eg https://dba.com.au/product/front-4000-series-hd-brake-rotor-dba42304/ If you have access to an R33 GTST VIN and your VIN, you could also use a Nissan Parts lookup like Amayama to show them the part number is different between 33 GTST and 34 GTT which may get their attention
    • Kapr
      What brakes on R34 GTT(Europe)

      By Kapr · Posted

      So i got reply from EBC and they just this site where you can clearly see those 296mm fronts on R34 GTT. I send them photos and "quotes" that 296mm are not for 34 GTT and they are too small. But it will be very hard to return them cuz nobody here knows 100% and they just copy those EBC catalogue :-D https://ebcbrakesdirect.com/automotive/nissan/skyline-r34
    • 04-LOOX
      R34 GTR Vspec Garage Sale - All must go!

      By 04-LOOX · Posted

      Hi, is the HKS  Tower Bar still available ? negotiable ? 🤔
    • Duncan
      Duncan's V37.......race car?

      By Duncan · Posted

      From there, it is really just test and assemble. Plug the adapter cables from the unit into the back of the screen, then the other side to the car harness. Don't forget all the other plugs too! Run the cables behind the unit and screw it back into place (4 screws) and you should now have 3 cables to run from the top screen to the android unit. I ran them along the DS of the other AV units in the gap between their backets and the console, and used some corrugated tubing on the sharp edges of the bracket so the wires were safe. Plug the centre console and lower screen in temporarily and turn the car to ACC, the AV should fire up as normal. Hold the back button for 3 sec and Android should appear on the top screen. You need to set the input to Aux for audio (more on that later). I put the unit under the AC duct in the centre console, with the wifi antenna on top of the AC duct near the shifter, the bluetooth antenna on the AC duct under the centre console The GPS unit on top of the DS to AC duct; they all seem to work OK there are are out of the way. Neat cable routing is a pain. For the drive recorder I mounted it near the rear view mirror and run the cable in the headlining, across the a pillar and then down the inside of the a pillar seal to the DS lower dash. From there it goes across and to one USB input for the unit. The second USB input is attached to the ECUtec OBD dongle and the 3rd goes to the USB bulkhead connected I added in the centre console. This is how the centre console looks "tidied" up Note I didn't install the provided speaker, didn't use the 2.5mm IPod in line or the piggyback loom for the Ipod or change any DIP switches; they seem to only be required if you need to use the Ipod input rather than the AUX input. That's it, install done, I'll follow up with a separate post on how the unit works, but in summary it retains all factory functions and inputs (so I still use my phone to the car for calls), reverse still works like factory etc.
×
×
  • Create New...