Veilside R33 Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 hey guy, i got this off ns.com and thought i'd share it, 2days later im still giggling at it. Rectum stretcher While I was driving down the Kwinana Freeway the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a traffic cop on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked: "Runway too short?" To which I replied, "I'm late for work." To which he asked, "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded. The traffic cop was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet." Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?" To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." Speeding ticket: $250 Court costs: $1000 Look on traffic cop's face: Priceless!! Link to comment https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/59395-rectum-stretcher/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
B-Man Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Toolbox Link to comment https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/59395-rectum-stretcher/#findComment-1133160 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinista32 Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 I'll be using that one soon, thanks Andrew. Link to comment https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/59395-rectum-stretcher/#findComment-1133165 Share on other sites More sharing options...
daler32 Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 priceless alrite lmfao Link to comment https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/59395-rectum-stretcher/#findComment-1133170 Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkyGTRline Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 LOL! Good stuff mate..... good stuff Link to comment https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/59395-rectum-stretcher/#findComment-1133283 Share on other sites More sharing options...
leech_ Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 bahaha awesome Link to comment https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/59395-rectum-stretcher/#findComment-1133376 Share on other sites More sharing options...
OZR32GTR Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 May as well add to the Christmas cheer. Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "you may pass through the pearly gates." The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?" The man replied, "They're Carol's." Link to comment https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/59395-rectum-stretcher/#findComment-1133431 Share on other sites More sharing options...
VL-TRBO-RB20 Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 hahaha they're both good!! Link to comment https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/59395-rectum-stretcher/#findComment-1133440 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinista32 Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Let me share anothery with you http://media.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_content/4232/freddie3.swf Link to comment https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/59395-rectum-stretcher/#findComment-1133692 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest RedLineGTR Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 read it 3 times..love it ahahahahaha Link to comment https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/59395-rectum-stretcher/#findComment-1133696 Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkyGTRline Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Roflmao!!!!!!!!!!! Thats Awsome!!! Link to comment https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/59395-rectum-stretcher/#findComment-1133859 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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