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I herby inform all members of my early retirement from todays meetings

as i have an important meeting with Alderman Pancakes I will however return

before the days end to review any motions. As my meeting is on official council business

i will be diverting funds from the bacon account for said meeting

Good day Councilors

Fellow councilors, I have hasty yet sickening news.

While enacting the procurement of a beverage, in correlation with the new scone by-law.

A neo-named wangateel did obscond with the scones.

Last seen in the vascinity of the council chambers

scones.jpg

I hereby deduce that Councillor Charly watched the Simpsons last night, and hencewith is slandering these meetings with weak material...  I propose a motion to BAN Councillor Charly from the scones and jam...  All in favour, poke yourself in the aye...

Yes but everything else in there was pure dribble and I state for the record that the aforementioned material is of particular relevance to this discussion which will incongruate into the morrow due to irreconcileable differences in opinion. Councilor strutto, I feel that you're jealous because I got to watch the particular halloween special of the simpsons last night in relative peace compared to the veritable jungle of which your home seems to be of late.

For it is too late as the jam and scones have been consumed in a timely manner.

Iopia, My32. welcome to the chambers. Feel free to interrupt of start some sort of a fistfight like they do in Taiwan.

Fellow councilors, I have hasty yet sickening news.

 

 While enacting the procurement of a beverage, in correlation with the new scone by-law.

 

 A neo-named wangateel did obscond with the scones.

 

 Last seen in the vascinity of the council chambers

 

 scones.jpg

This indeed dire news Councillor Dan, yet not wholy unexpected.

The wangateel in question, is yet another example of predatory nature exhibited by these morally reprehensible owners of naked pets and I would not at all be surprised if the wangateel who absconded with our scones has taken them directly back to the owner of itself.

This is why we must no longer prevaricate on the deliberation of more punitive action against these doyans of moral decreptitude.

As you know I have a controlling share in the Greengrocer Brotherhood and am willing to offer the services of the brotherhood in the tracking down of the said perpetrators. All that is asked in return for this inestimable service is a small large monetary recompense. I think that this will be a benefit to the constituants in general and whilst it may seem to the more suspicious detractors of our council that I stand to personally gain significantly from this arrangement, nothing could be further than the truth. The profits that may accrued by me will be channelled back into the local workforce, when I hire them to commence building of the extension to my already large country Manor.

The honorable Member for the Barrow of Knownothing would like to put forward that drug tests are performed on all councillors , as I believe something more ponent has been placed in the Muffins this morning that just flour and blueberries..

If the asembley would indulge him the honoruable Charly member for the Party Party wishes a short recess so he can run off to The honourable member for the Barrow of Knownothing's basment so he may extract a clean urine sample from the love monkey chained in the basment that we "found" in a souveneir basket the honourable predator and myself brought back from our tour of thailand where we were assessing .. um something reallly relevant, so that the honourable member charly of the party party may pass the drug test in an honest fashion with flying colours.

Eh hottie I know you love the smoothtalk.

The Greengrocer Brotherhood is more than welcome to back the adjoining by-laws, as they were steadfast in there acknowledgement of the phalli eradication program.

I may also implore the help of the trade union, as they owe me their support after I allocated a length of red pinstripe to the main Toyota forklift that does address the factory floor. (actually true, I got to it yesterday arvo..GT style)

Councilor hottie, what further punitive action do you feel the unions could handle?

I hereby and within second the notion for more copious amounts of twirling... There has been a defiant movement amoungst our constituants AGAINST the motion for more copious amounts of twirling... And I for one WILL NOT be for a motion AGAINST a twirling motion if a twirling motion is motioned...

Hon. Arsole Bumbumnation. Member for Snatch.

I motion that we grant the advertising company the right to use the Johnny Cash song which contains the lyrics "I fell into a Burning Ring of Fire" to advertise heammeroid cream in honour of the Vindaloo as prepared by Councilor Chris hottie last night for the Members of this assembley.

I also request that Members of the assembley be granted the privelige of calling councilor Smoothline by her nickname "bonezy".

Councllior Dan,

Thankyou for your question regarding Union involvement regarding said proposal to take punitive action against the perpetrators of the absonding of our scones.

The Greengrocers have always been a staunch supporter of unionisation and hope to continue our long and productive fraternisation in time to come.

Saying that let me say this, whilst the Greengrocers have the wherewithal and resources to track down the perpetrators, we unfortunately are not in a position to exact retribution on the perpetrators. This is where I believe the involvement of the union can come in. We are all aware of the proficiency in which the union is capable of taking *ahem* punitive action and in acknowledgement of this the greengrocers are willing to supply the "sacks with door-knobs in" to the union free of charge.

Would this be of interest to the Union, Coucillor Dan?

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