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THE WEDDING TEST

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.

that joke potentially predates your birth, but I still smile when i read it.

since we're posting old jokes:

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes and bows in prayer.

His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

The man then replies, "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

-------------------------------------

On the 16th hole of the golf course, Fred had hit his ball into the woods.

Harry, his partner had laughed and poked fun, but then somehow managed to

hit his ball into the woods, just a few yards beyond. Fred looked for a

long time, getting angrier every minute.

Finally, in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups, he found his ball. Instead

of just continuing the game, he took his club and thrashed every single

buttercup in that patch. Suddenly, in a flash and puff of smoke, a

little old woman appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how

long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won't have

any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life.....better still; you

won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life.....as a

matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"

Then POOF!...she was gone. After Fred got a hold of himself, he hollered for

his friend, "Harry!... Harry!... where are you?" Harry yells, "I'm over

here, in the pussy willows."

Fred screams back..... "DON'T SWING!!! FOR GOD'S SAKE!! DON'T SWING!!!"

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