Jump to content
SAU Community

Recommended Posts

I'm so farking bored....

oh well he's another bad joke....

A man survived a plane crash and landed on a large land occupied by a group of savages, who treated him as one of them. After many decades, he was eventually rescued and a female journalist is interviewing him on his miraculous survival and life on the island.

"Tell me, is there anything fun on the island?" She asks.

"yea. I remember one time a woman was lost in the woods and we searched her for days and found her in a cave and then we all had sex with her." He says excitingly.

Feeling a little bit awkward, the journalist then asks "What Else?"

"Last winter, a sow we caught ran away and we eventually found it in the woods and we all had sex with it. It was good time." He says proudly.

"hmm." Embarrassed and disgusted, the journalist then asks "what about any hardship you suffered when living on the island?"

The old man looks at her and says nothing, and after 10 secs, he bursts into tears and says:"One day, I got lost in the woods...."

Bill, Ted And Intelligence

Bill and Ted work in a factory line and have been working there for 15 years.

Bill: Ted. We have been working here a friggin long time.

Ted: You got that right.

Bill: How come we are stuck here doing the same shitty job getting the same shitty pay, while Jim gets to be manager, sit in an air conditioned office and gets paid more than us?

Ted: You know. That's interesting. I have had it with this job. I am going to talk to Jim.

So that afternoon, Ted goes to see Jim in his office.

Ted: Excuse me Jim. I need to ask you something.

Jim: Sure Jim. Ask away.

Ted: Bill and me were just wondering. We have been working here for 15 years doing the same shitty job. But you get to be manager and sit in this nice office. How come?

Jim: Ted. I am sitting in this office because I have one thing that you don't.

Ted: ???

Jim: I have intelligence.

Ted: ???????

Jim: *Sigh* Let me show you.

Jim puts his hand on the wall.

Jim: Ted. I want you to punch my hand right now.

Ted: ?? But i can't. I mean i don't want to hurt you.

Jim: Just do it.

Ted lines up a punch and just as he's about to land the punch, Jim pulls away. Ted screams.

Jim: See Ted. That's intelligence.

Ted, enlightened and excited with the news runs off to Bill.

Ted: Bill Bill!!! i know why Jim is the manager now!

Bill: What what? Why??

Ted: I will show you.

Ted looks around for a wall but couldn't find one.

So he put his hand on his face.

-The end-

hahahahahahahahaha Your solution intrigues me..

I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter!

you already have, the intelligent parts are distributed on here once every year and involve only one line of content.

i need some lovin :P:P:kiss::laugh:;)

gimme an hour and i finish work >_<

hahahahahahahahaha Your solution intrigues me..

I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter!

will you pay good money for it, not counterfeit like the last person *starts cursing under breath* :laugh:

The Dump List

The Perfect Dump -- Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace of an expert diver. But that's not the end of it. You use some toilet tissue only to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right with the world and you are in perfect harmony with it.

The Beer Dump -- Talk about nasty dumps. Depending on the dumper's tolerance, the beer dump is the end result of too many beers. it could have been 2 or 22, it doesn't matter. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by a malevolent fog that could close a bathroom for days.

The Chili Dump - Hot when it goes in, and rocket fuel when it leaves. The chili dump stays with you all day, making your tush feel like a heat shield.

The Cable Dump -- Long, curly and perfectly formed like 2 feet of E13 telephone CO-axial cable. It loops lazily around the bowl, like a friendly serpent. You wonder admiringly, ''DID I DO THAT? Where did it come from?'' you leave the bathroom pleased with yourself.

The Latrine Dump -- In case you didn't know, a latrine is a hole in the ground with a tent around it where soldiers, boy scouts and flies go to dump. Tip: Don't ever, ever look in the hole.

The Mona Lisa Dump -- This is the masterpiece of dumps. It's as perfectly formed as it can be. Delicate and slender with intricacies that would make da Vinci weep. And just think, you made it yourself. You may even want to break out the Polaroid, but maybe that's going a bit too far.

The Empty Roll Dump - You're done...you reach for the toilet paper only to discover that empty cardboard cylinder. A mild panic begins coldly in your throat. You could use the curtains...no, someone would say ''Where are the curtains?'' Then what would you say? The rug?...too cumbersome. Then you must come to the same conclusion that every ''empty roll dumper'' must face...Pull up your slacks, tighten your tush and wriggle yourself to the nearest full roll.

The Splash-Back Dump - You send the dump on its way, it drops like a depth charge into the bowl creating a column of cold bowl water that washes your bottom with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now you're wet and embarrassed. Tip: Blot instead of wiping.

The Aborted Dump - You are in mid-dump when the phone rings. What do you do? ABORT! Pinch it off, go for the phone, and save the rest for later. It isn't pretty, but you've gotta do what you gotta do. The Alfresco Dump -- Everyone has had to go outdoors from time to time. This can be a rather pleasant experience really. The open air, the nature, and a good bush all contribute to the peaceful ambiance that our primitive forefathers must have enjoyed. What can screw up this harmonious interlude is a troop of Brownies or a patch of poison ivy.

The Childbirth Dump -- This is a dump that is simply too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for the purpose. You sit there, thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and it isn't going to get any better. You wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming ''Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf.'' You realize you'll have to resolve the crisis before you can leave the bathroom. Basically there are only three things you can do: Scream, call an Obstetrician

>_<

HOW COULD YOU!!!

THAT IS MY PASH RASH ALL OVER YOUR CHEST!!!!

I'M SO HURT I COULD VOMIT!!

I'M CHOKIN ON MY OWN RAGE HERE!!!

thats probably vomit your choking on actually

:P

you already have, the intelligent parts are distributed on here once every year and involve only one line of content.

Me no understandah the engrish...

:P

dude that looks like my boobs ;)

Why do you have pictures of my cheast!! :laugh:

I got them from ... YO MAMMA!!!! :kiss:

And they can't be your breastsesesss ... they be my breastesesss with my newest piercing! :P

gimme an hour and i finish work >_<

will you pay good money for it, not counterfeit like the last person *starts cursing under breath* :laugh:

Me givey you two dorrar!!

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.



  • Similar Content

  • Latest Posts

    • That was the first session so not a lot to take from the day. It was low 20s ambient and the coolant had got to 110 (and obviously had some pressure!) so that still needs to be addressed. I haven't downloaded the data yet but will. I had refilled the auto trans with Redline DT6 because it claimed the best viscosity I could find at 100o. It wasn't really long enough to get a good feel for that; while the trans got to 100o in the session it still wasn't shifting crisply as I hoped. I think I'll try a few more sessions before judging. No steering motor overheat but I'd hope not in only 1 session! But finally the suspension; it was night and day over the standard stuff and the car was a couple of seconds quicker on the same crappy tyres, which is a huge difference. I'll stick with that and get some sway bars and a mechanical diff sorted too and see how that all goes together
    • I guess it’s partially a compromise of how my car is used, wanting to be able to switch from drift to grip with track side on-car adjustment. Also partially with the way the knuckles are set there is more static camber but less dynamic camber gain. 
    • OK, so update from the track day on Friday It was a classic "an unfortunate series of events'. There were a few cars around and when i checked my mirror coming out of the fish hook I notice some smoke from the rear of mine. Looked again and it was getting much worse, I figured I'd blown a turbo or something to got off it and pulled off the racing line. However.... since it is a left hairpin into a right kink, I was on the inside of the next corner. There was a car passing me on the left and a big drop off over the ripple strip on the right......and someone had knocked the witch's hat that was on the apex about 1m onto the track. So, between those 3, I decided to mow down the cone and not damage my car/the other car. Right choice, but surprising result.  The car decided the cone was a small pedestrian so it blew the rear bonnet hinges up to protect their head in the upcoming person to car impact....I didn't see that coming and like an airbag deployment it happened super fast. Straight into the pits from there, everything was driving fine but it became clear it was a coolant leak not smoke, it was billowing up onto the windscreen. Onto the trailer and home. I'll do a separate thread about the repair (once I work out what it is ), but the immediate problem was the bonnet wouldn't open because the front was pinched onto the front bar and would not release. Ultimately we unbolted the hinge from the bonnet, pulled it back a little and it released from the front OK. "There's your problem", the top radiator hose had popped off at the radiator.
    • Yeah that looks like great caster, but I'd suggest trying less front camber some time and seeing if it helps with braking without reducing mid corner speed too much
    • I ended up setting the rear 5mm higher than normal to give some clearance.  My plan is to run the least camber I can in the rear which I think with the extra width is going to need to be -1.75 to -2.00° just to get clearance.  Guards have been rolled and pulled as much as they can/I would be wanting to.  front has the Acostal knuckle with the KPI change and the drop etc. So should be okay with the existing settings I have run with AR1s etc Front: Toe total -2mm(1mm out each side) Caster +7.5° Camber -3.8° Ackerman +15°
×
×
  • Create New...