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Hmm. Take one Metro (Similar to a swift, but very square, built by Rover in the UK)

Leave after a night of indoor karting..... at the first S-Bend, go off road, run over the sharp corner v's (They have already been run over by someone else) - Hit the bloody big oak tree, (which has no bark on it, having been hit repeatedly by other cars.... )

Look at front lights, which have no fixed mounts anymore (somehow the actual glass survived on both lights) and are sort trying to light up the clouds...

Sort through the detruis in the back of the car, and use 2 x Maccas large Coke cups to brace the lights, and add 2 x cup holders behind them. Add electrical tape, (no cable ties to hand, learnt that lesson, always have them to hand now! )

Proceed to use said setup until MOT/Pink Slip time many months later - For some reason the test guy couldn't align the lights correctly......

It's amazing what you can knock up when the rain is coming sideways at you, and you're in the arse end of nowhere, with the only working lights the broken ones.... :-)

Edited by Zebbie

a few years back, we had an old pulsar and were dying to QUICKLY do it up and cruise in it. we got body kit fitted (ourselves) still in primer, the muffler had a hole so we kicked it out and taped a Milo tin to the rear bar. Thinking that the chrome milo tin looked too cleanish we taped some gaffer tape on the inside to make it look real. to top it off we had a dishwashing sponge taped straight onto the throttle body as an airfilter (it actually sounded alrite!!)

whole project took a few hours and we got to cruise around that night, laughing all the way to the city of our dodge job

I was out forrest hacking yonks ago and put a huge stake through the fuel tank!

One of the chicks in the back seat was sharing her bubble gum with her freind.. so.. yoink.

Jammed the gum into the hole.. fixed the datto up really nice!

drove the car like that for another 12 months before the car died.. bubble gum still in the hole!

Another scenic tour through the forestry (mate said it was a short cut) the ballast resistor case broke.

The crappy tracks took its toll on it.. the resistor shortted out and the engine died!

The same girl was in the front seat this time, chewing bubble gum.. yoink

'gummed' the resistor back together and drove the rest of the datto killing journey back her place..

To this day, I still drive my car with bubble gum in the glove box!

dodgy things..

nothing like ziptying engine mounts or nothing

removed S14 dump with crow bar

removed S13 PS pump with crowbar

zip tie pod on S14

non dodgythings that i do that everyone should do.

exhaust sealant on the exhaust dump

silicone sealant on waterpump seal instead of a dodgy paper gasket.

actually doin brake bleeds...

Using a house extension cord as a quick release power and earth for my stezz setup in my old wagon, back brakes started leaking, so i cut the line and fold-sealed it (did awesome burnouts) untill i could find some replacements, after an accident, bent the radiator off the fan with a plank then used masking tape to hold everything together till i got home (no race tape, not real good coz it was raining) Had a problem with the ignition, so put a big switch on the dash direct wired to the starter

mate had a old bunky shortbase pajero that he picked up for 1k. It was meant to be a bunky but, a nice bunky if you know what i mean. Anyway the old petrol motor was kinda noisy, and the tank was empty so he thought he would do the right thing and fill it up... with diesel! He came and picked me up and the thing was pinging its nuts off, so what do we do?? take it bushbashing to really load that poor motor up and clear out that yucky diesel, the pistons would of been glowing red. Not suprising though it detonated a piston in 10mins and we drove home on 3 cylinders.

We noticed a massive vibration on the ride home though, we somehow dented the tailshaft while we were bashing around and put it out of balance. Instead of pulling over we drove straight through the shakes and shudders until it cut loose and snapped off, we ended parking up next to a traffic light in the middle of the intersection. It was getting late so left it till the next day when we came backto find it broken into and the shitty sony headdeck was stolen and the god old tornado sub had gone walk abouts. In total dismay, we towed it back with my bros skyline and tow rope lol, went to the wrecker and bolted up another tailshaft and away we went again. 3 cylinders = gutless as hell but to its credit it did do wicked key bangers, theres nothing like scaring the shit out of somebody walking a dog...

my mate has a 1977 (i think) chrysler galant wagon. it has a burnt valve and has been running on 3 cylinders (about 1100cc) for the past few months. he drives it to work everyday (and he's a mechanic). and it's a 3 speed auto, so it is slower than a snail. he says 1 day he will get around to getting running on 4 cylinders again.

like physically running with his feet thru a hole in the car floor.

Dodgiest thing I have done is wired up a turbo timer with speaker cable, maybe that isnt so dodgy, but we couldn't be stuffed shortening the wire so I have 7 foot of spare wire sitting under the dash cover below the steering wheel just in case... :nyaanyaa:

On my old CE Lancer I ran the car without any air cleaner whatsoever for a few months cause I loved the 'duction sound.

lol. dose.

My old 1200cc vw engine dropped a valve driving to work. Smashed the piston, cracked 3 it ways and was only held together by the rings. THe valve was hammered into the crown of the piston. Alluminium fell down into the engine, the cylinder head was smashed up good as well, and where there was an intake and exhaust port there was just one big hole.

$15 later I bought a second hand head, and a piston from an 1100cc engine (same bore, diferent stroke). Picked the bits of alloy out of the sump as best i could (definatly some big chunks remained), held the piston in a vice and filed down the skirts to allow them to clear the crankshaft throw, lapped in the valves in the head with valve grinding paste and a battery drill, and re-assembled.

I got another 5000+k's out of that engine before the new engine was built. It even started first go when it was put back together and didn't eveb blow much smoke!

Try that with any moden car!

Cheers,

Ian

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