Jokes!

[typevu]

"I want the prick that pushed me in"

hahahaha pwned!

[Dohmar]

Man said to wife "Alright you sexy thing, bedroom now."

She looked at him and said, "Ooh, you kinky bastard."

He said, "No, seriously, the footy’s about to start, f**k off!”

-D

[Pepsinator]

Man said to wife "Alright you sexy thing, bedroom now."

She looked at him and said, "Ooh, you kinky bastard."

He said, "No, seriously, the footy's about to start, f**k off!"

-D

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Damo_R34]

it was funny but not THAT funny

[Krishy]

Some people like to laugh and some people like to ROR

[skins]

Prostate Exam...Thai Style..

After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the Australian

National Health Service, a friend of mine decided to have his next test done while visiting

Thailand where the beautiful nurses are rather more gentle and accommodating.

As usual he was asked to strip off, he lay naked on his side

on the bed and the nurse began the examination.

"At this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection" said the nurse.

"I haven't got an erection" said the man.

"No, but I have" replied the nurse.

[skins]

How do you get pikachu on a bus?

Poke m on

[Damo_R34]

haha, skins bringin the lols from wasteland to sa!

[typevu]

Just re-name this thread to "Damo's thread" so you can stop clogging up the wasteland

[GoAhead]

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite sometime. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist.

Her doctor recommended that she go see Dr. Chang, the well known Chinese sex therapist, so she went to see him.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all your crose."

The woman did as she was told.

"Now, get down and craw reery reery fass to odder side of room."

Again, the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery reery fass back to me."

So she did.

Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said, "Your probrem vewy bad, you haf Ed Zachary Disease, worse case I ever see, dat why you not haf sex or dates."

Confused, the woman asked, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?" Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eyes and replied, "Ed Zachary disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."

[Volk34]

haha just killed like half n hour of work time

and lol'd a few time too woot woot!

why did the woman cross the road?

more to the point why is she out the kitchen??!!?

[HOSTILE]

Heard one on the tv this arvo that actually made me laugh.....

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do?

...enough to kill two and a half men!

[Madaz]

hahaha

[SLED]

A young Arab asks his father, "What is that weird hat you are wearing?"

The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun."

"And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?" asked the young man.

"It's a 'djbellah' because in the desert it is very hot and it protects the body." said the father.

The son asked, "And what about those ugly shoes on your feet?

His father replied, "These are 'babouches", which keep us from burning our feet in the desert."

"Tell me," added the boy.

"Yes, my son?"

"Why are you living in Battle Creek , Michigan and still wearing all this crap?"

[On Edge]

lol pete thats logical comedy at its best

[Gunn R33]

a train hits a bus load of catholic school girls and they all perish. at the gates of heaven, St. Peter asks the girls whether they have ever had any contact with a penis... the first girls giggles and says she once touched the tip of one with her finger. peter asks the girls to dip the finger into the holy water. the next girl says she once fondled one, so sticks her hand in the holy water. suddenly there is a commotion and one girl pushes to the front, "Jenny, what's the rush?" asks Peter, she replies "i want to gargle that holy water before Kathy sticks her arse in it"

[Brezza]

a train hits a bus load of catholic school girls and they all perish. at the gates of heaven, St. Peter asks the girls whether they have ever had any contact with a penis... the first girls giggles and says she once touched the tip of one with her finger. peter asks the girls to dip the finger into the holy water. the next girl says she once fondled one, so sticks her hand in the holy water. suddenly there is a commotion and one girl pushes to the front, "Jenny, what's the rush?" asks Peter, she replies "i want to gargle that holy water before Kathy sticks her arse in it"

That's a good one!

[Whiplash]

PAINTING THE PORCH

A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "Handy-Woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighbourhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said. "How much will you charge?"

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those Dumb Blonde Jokes we've been getting by e-mail."

Later that day, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied. "I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a ten dollar tip.

"And by the way," the blonde added,

"it's not a Porch; it's a Lexus."

[Madaz]

lol

[GTAAAAAAH32]

A joke from one of the funniest comediens ever to walk this earth, Mike Reid.....

A man goes to the doctors.

Man: Doctor, I've got a terrible urge to put my penis in the bacon slicer.

Doctor: Jesus, where do you work?

Man: Tescos

Doctor: Shit. I'll give you some pills, if things get worse, come and see me on Wednesday.

Monday morning the door burst open.

Man (crying): Doc, I've done it, I've put my dick in the bacon slicer.

Doctor: Oh my god, how is it?

Man: Fine

Doctor: What about the bacon slicer?

Man: The bitch gave her notice in.