Classic Jokes/funnies

[Nightcrawler]

Thought I'd start an SA thread for local funnies and jokes. To start the ball rolling, here's a great photo I was emailed today. Taken on Port Wakefield Road.

[vange]

HAHAHAHAH thats awsome..lol

i saw ove of those signs saying "Police now targeting.." and som1 put "your money" lol

[Oosh]

I got one of those near my work (Tech Park):

Plus this one the back of a truck, i cal it, "No Tailgate Dancing":

[Nightcrawler]

haha awesome Ash!

[Sambo33]

ROFL

i saw one of those "speeding whats your excuse" signs the other day, with the response "cant read" down the underneath. :lol:

[Bl4cK32]

I saw one on the highway on the way driving to Melbourne at the start of the year.

It said - "Dont sleep and drive"

i kid you not! i"ll try and find the photo and scan it

[Sl!m]

I have some pictures at home somewhere from when I lived in the States..

picture of a porn shop on the top of a hill..big signs all over the building "XXXX" "HARDCORE" etc..

directly next to the building is a giant billboard with a picture of Jesus and in big words "JESUS IS WATCHING YOU"

ahahaha.. some church bought all the advertising space above a couple of porn shops in the town and put them up.

will have to find the pics and post them up

[Oosh]

[Nightcrawler]

Ash, that is one of the funniest things I have ever read

[vange]

hahahah that was awsome

[Race__24]

don't know where this was???????

[Silver bullet]

Is this a franchised massage parlour???

[MISS-R33-MEL]

:lol:

[gtrGhosTDoGG11]

Hi Mel. I think I spotted you at Ingle Farm Shopping Centre Yesterday or so looking for a park!

Was that you?

[MISS-R33-MEL]

Hi Mel. I think I spotted you at Ingle Farm Shopping Centre Yesterday or so looking for a park!

Was that you?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sorry matey wasnt me

[Nozila]

Hi Mel. I think I spotted you at Ingle Farm Shopping Centre Yesterday or so looking for a park!

Was that you?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

will, should have dropped by as you were in the 'hood. :lol:

[Tangles]

15 Little Known Facts About Chuck Norris

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

5. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

6. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

7. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

8. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

9. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

10. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

11. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

12. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the the sphincter of the universe one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live the sphincter of the universe, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

13. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.

14. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

15. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

[Nozila]

roflmao not is friggn funny. btw i like chuck norris which makes it even funnier

[Sambo33]

LOL @ Chuck Norris Facts :lol:

[vange]

omg i lost it when i read 11. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.