Dont waste your money with an ex gate or aftermarket manifold on the setup you are running, its just not worth it. Your turbo has been shown to produce exceptionally solid results in low mount internal gate, thats how HKS designed it. So basically check your other options first.
Firstly as nismoid said get rid of your stock dump pipe, a nice bellmouth 3" should do the job well. Dont muck around with a split dump/front pipe, boost controll issues seem to occur (sometimes) with this design. The design listed below is good, shop around on price though.
http://www.justjap.com/parts_ndumps.htm
(X-Force Dump & Engine Pipe - RB20 / RB25, Price: $330, 3 inch Stainless Steel - Suit Skyline R32/R33 GTS-T)
Secondly get some forn of boost control. Try the $22 turbotech manual one, cheap, proven, just do it.
Finally if that still does not fix your problems check the health of your actuator, borrow one or buy one from a wrecker. This could also be causing your problems, not opening or closing properly could be causing the lag and the spike.
Good luck