Jump to content
SAU Community

Recommended Posts

I'm so farking bored....

oh well he's another bad joke....

A man survived a plane crash and landed on a large land occupied by a group of savages, who treated him as one of them. After many decades, he was eventually rescued and a female journalist is interviewing him on his miraculous survival and life on the island.

"Tell me, is there anything fun on the island?" She asks.

"yea. I remember one time a woman was lost in the woods and we searched her for days and found her in a cave and then we all had sex with her." He says excitingly.

Feeling a little bit awkward, the journalist then asks "What Else?"

"Last winter, a sow we caught ran away and we eventually found it in the woods and we all had sex with it. It was good time." He says proudly.

"hmm." Embarrassed and disgusted, the journalist then asks "what about any hardship you suffered when living on the island?"

The old man looks at her and says nothing, and after 10 secs, he bursts into tears and says:"One day, I got lost in the woods...."

Bill, Ted And Intelligence

Bill and Ted work in a factory line and have been working there for 15 years.

Bill: Ted. We have been working here a friggin long time.

Ted: You got that right.

Bill: How come we are stuck here doing the same shitty job getting the same shitty pay, while Jim gets to be manager, sit in an air conditioned office and gets paid more than us?

Ted: You know. That's interesting. I have had it with this job. I am going to talk to Jim.

So that afternoon, Ted goes to see Jim in his office.

Ted: Excuse me Jim. I need to ask you something.

Jim: Sure Jim. Ask away.

Ted: Bill and me were just wondering. We have been working here for 15 years doing the same shitty job. But you get to be manager and sit in this nice office. How come?

Jim: Ted. I am sitting in this office because I have one thing that you don't.

Ted: ???

Jim: I have intelligence.

Ted: ???????

Jim: *Sigh* Let me show you.

Jim puts his hand on the wall.

Jim: Ted. I want you to punch my hand right now.

Ted: ?? But i can't. I mean i don't want to hurt you.

Jim: Just do it.

Ted lines up a punch and just as he's about to land the punch, Jim pulls away. Ted screams.

Jim: See Ted. That's intelligence.

Ted, enlightened and excited with the news runs off to Bill.

Ted: Bill Bill!!! i know why Jim is the manager now!

Bill: What what? Why??

Ted: I will show you.

Ted looks around for a wall but couldn't find one.

So he put his hand on his face.

-The end-

hahahahahahahahaha Your solution intrigues me..

I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter!

you already have, the intelligent parts are distributed on here once every year and involve only one line of content.

i need some lovin :P:P:kiss::laugh:;)

gimme an hour and i finish work >_<

hahahahahahahahaha Your solution intrigues me..

I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter!

will you pay good money for it, not counterfeit like the last person *starts cursing under breath* :laugh:

The Dump List

The Perfect Dump -- Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace of an expert diver. But that's not the end of it. You use some toilet tissue only to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right with the world and you are in perfect harmony with it.

The Beer Dump -- Talk about nasty dumps. Depending on the dumper's tolerance, the beer dump is the end result of too many beers. it could have been 2 or 22, it doesn't matter. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by a malevolent fog that could close a bathroom for days.

The Chili Dump - Hot when it goes in, and rocket fuel when it leaves. The chili dump stays with you all day, making your tush feel like a heat shield.

The Cable Dump -- Long, curly and perfectly formed like 2 feet of E13 telephone CO-axial cable. It loops lazily around the bowl, like a friendly serpent. You wonder admiringly, ''DID I DO THAT? Where did it come from?'' you leave the bathroom pleased with yourself.

The Latrine Dump -- In case you didn't know, a latrine is a hole in the ground with a tent around it where soldiers, boy scouts and flies go to dump. Tip: Don't ever, ever look in the hole.

The Mona Lisa Dump -- This is the masterpiece of dumps. It's as perfectly formed as it can be. Delicate and slender with intricacies that would make da Vinci weep. And just think, you made it yourself. You may even want to break out the Polaroid, but maybe that's going a bit too far.

The Empty Roll Dump - You're done...you reach for the toilet paper only to discover that empty cardboard cylinder. A mild panic begins coldly in your throat. You could use the curtains...no, someone would say ''Where are the curtains?'' Then what would you say? The rug?...too cumbersome. Then you must come to the same conclusion that every ''empty roll dumper'' must face...Pull up your slacks, tighten your tush and wriggle yourself to the nearest full roll.

The Splash-Back Dump - You send the dump on its way, it drops like a depth charge into the bowl creating a column of cold bowl water that washes your bottom with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now you're wet and embarrassed. Tip: Blot instead of wiping.

The Aborted Dump - You are in mid-dump when the phone rings. What do you do? ABORT! Pinch it off, go for the phone, and save the rest for later. It isn't pretty, but you've gotta do what you gotta do. The Alfresco Dump -- Everyone has had to go outdoors from time to time. This can be a rather pleasant experience really. The open air, the nature, and a good bush all contribute to the peaceful ambiance that our primitive forefathers must have enjoyed. What can screw up this harmonious interlude is a troop of Brownies or a patch of poison ivy.

The Childbirth Dump -- This is a dump that is simply too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for the purpose. You sit there, thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and it isn't going to get any better. You wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming ''Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf.'' You realize you'll have to resolve the crisis before you can leave the bathroom. Basically there are only three things you can do: Scream, call an Obstetrician

>_<

HOW COULD YOU!!!

THAT IS MY PASH RASH ALL OVER YOUR CHEST!!!!

I'M SO HURT I COULD VOMIT!!

I'M CHOKIN ON MY OWN RAGE HERE!!!

thats probably vomit your choking on actually

:P

you already have, the intelligent parts are distributed on here once every year and involve only one line of content.

Me no understandah the engrish...

:P

dude that looks like my boobs ;)

Why do you have pictures of my cheast!! :laugh:

I got them from ... YO MAMMA!!!! :kiss:

And they can't be your breastsesesss ... they be my breastesesss with my newest piercing! :P

gimme an hour and i finish work >_<

will you pay good money for it, not counterfeit like the last person *starts cursing under breath* :laugh:

Me givey you two dorrar!!

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.



  • Similar Content

  • Latest Posts

    • You are selling this? I have never bought something from marketplace...i dont know if i trust that enough. And the price is little bit "too" good...
    • https://www.facebook.com/share/19kSVAc4tc/?mibextid=wwXIfr
    • It would be well worth deciding where you want to go and what you care about. Reliability of everything in a 34 drops MASSIVELY above the 300kw mark. Keeping everything going great at beyond that value will cost ten times the $. Clutches become shit, gearboxes (and engines/bottom ends) become consumable, traction becomes crap. The good news is looking legalish/actually being legal is slighly under the 300kw mark. I would make the assumption you want to ditch the stock plenum too and want to go a front facing unit of some description due to the cross flow. Do the bends on a return flow hurt? Not really. A couple of bends do make a difference but not nearly as much in a forced induction situation. Add 1psi of boost to overcome it. Nobody has ever gone and done a track session monitoring IAT then done a different session on a different intercooler and monitored IAT to see the difference here. All of the benefits here are likely in the "My engine is a forged consumable that I drive once a year because it needs a rebuild every year which takes 9 months of the year to complete" territory. It would be well worth deciding where you want to go and what you care about with this car.
    • By "reverse flow", do you mean "return flow"? Being the IC having a return pipe back behind the bumper reo, or similar? If so... I am currently making ~250 rwkW on a Neo at ~17-18 psi. With a return flow. There's nothing to indicate that it is costing me a lot of power at this level, and I would be surprised if I could not push it harder. True, I have not measured pressure drop across it or IAT changes, but the car does not seem upset about it in any way. I won't be bothering to look into it unless it starts giving trouble or doesn't respond to boost increases when I next put it on the dyno. FWIW, it was tuned with the boost controller off, so achieving ~15-16 psi on the wastegate spring alone, and it is noticeably quicker with the boost controller on and yielding a couple of extra pounds. Hence why I think it is doing OK. So, no, I would not arbitrarily say that return flows are restrictive. Yes, they are certainly restrictive if you're aiming for higher power levels. But I also think that the happy place for a street car is <300 rwkW anyway, so I'm not going to be aiming for power levels that would require me to change the inlet pipework. My car looks very stock, even though everything is different. The turbo and inlet pipes all look stock and run in the stock locations, The airbox looks stock (apart from the inlet being opened up). The turbo looks stock, because it's in the stock location, is the stock housings and can't really be seen anyway. It makes enough power to be good to drive, but won't raise eyebrows if I ever f**k up enough for the cops to lift the bonnet.
    • There is a guy who said he can weld me piping without having to cut chassis, maybe I do that ? Or do I just go reverse flow but isn’t reverse flow very limited once again? 
×
×
  • Create New...