QLD Whoretown...

[V8skylineMAN]

Did you know that in New Mexico, over eleven thousand people have visited a tortilla chip that appeared to have the face of Jesus Christ burned into it?

now how do they know what JC looks like?

maybe its the face of joe blogs from down the road.

[V8skylineMAN]

Stomach cancer strikes the Japanese eleven times more frequently than Americans

[V8skylineMAN]

An erection is when Japanese vote for their new government officials.

[V8skylineMAN]

An enema is someone who is not your friend.

[V8skylineMAN]

Scrotum is a small planet near Uranus.

[V8skylineMAN]

A vulva is an automobile from Sweden.

[V8skylineMAN]

A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.

[V8skylineMAN]

Stand down Mr JapTaxi, sir.....i have just surpassed your post count.

[V8skylineMAN]

Women mature at a much faster rate than men. Most 17 year old females can function as adults. Most 17 year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work.

[V8skylineMAN]

A woman knows how to shop for groceries. She makes a list of the things she needs, and then goes to the store and buys these things. A man does not shop on a frequent basis. He waits until the only items left in his refrigerator are an opened can of Schlitz and a half a lime. Then he goes grocery shopping. A man buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on the Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10 items or less lane.

[V8skylineMAN]

Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day.

[V8skylineMAN]

To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chickenscratch. Women use scented, colored stationary, and they dot their "i's" with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their "p's" and "g's." It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end of the note.

[V8skylineMAN]

A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, a razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from a Holiday Inn. The average number of items in a typical American women's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

[V8skylineMAN]

Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

AMEN!

[V8skylineMAN]

Men are vain; they will check themselves out in the mirror. Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface, mirrors, spoons, store windows, toasters, or Joe Garagiola's head.

[V8skylineMAN]

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in his house.

[V8skylineMAN]

Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way. Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy who works at the health club and dates only married women.

[V8skylineMAN]

A woman asks a man to water her plants while she is on vacation. The man waters the plants. The woman comes home five or six days later to an apartment full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.

[V8skylineMAN]

Men take photography very seriously. They'll shell out $4000 for state of the art equipment, and build dark rooms and take photography classes. Women purchase Kodak Instamatics. Of course women always end up taking better pictures.

[V8skylineMAN]

In the locker room men talk about three things: money, football, and women, They exaggerate about money, they don't know football nearly as well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories about women. Women talk about one thing in the locker room -- sex. And not in abstract terms, either. They are extremely graphic and technical, and they never lie.