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skyzerr33

By skyzerr33,
in Western Australia

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Nizmo Grand Master

Nizmo

Posted
Posted

zanda - pauls bitch comment was aimed at me cos i was laughing at him in a gym - its like seeing a polar bear in the bahamas haha

Poor Troy only allowed on in ur lunchbreak when everyone else has gone :) how was ur trip back?

Nizmo Grand Master

Nizmo

Posted
Posted

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.

It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud: "I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

He parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy shit," the guy replies, "you actually understand everything I said?"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah!?", the guy asks, "then answer this---how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my penis around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and speak English, can't you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion,sports,physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion." the guy looks at the $200 price tag.

"Sorry, but I just can't afford that."

"Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20,just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by.The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes "pssssssst"and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nighty and kissed him passionately."

"What???" the guy asks incredulously, "then what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nighty and began petting her all over" reported the parrot.

"My god!" he exclaims, "then what?"

"Then he lifted up the nighty, got down on his knees and began licking her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down...."

"Well???" demands the frantic guy, "then what happened?"

.........."f*cked if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch".

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