Jump to content
SAU Community

Recommended Posts

three soldiers are on a plane, about to do a skydive. all from different countries. an englishmen, an american and an australian. they are doing this as part of international wargames or something. captian comes in "you guys are too heavy, ditch some weight or you chutes wont hold you well enough!"

hearing this the men start looking for things they dont need or want. The englishmen decides to throw backpack out "i'll pick it up when we get down there" he says. the american throws out a small black baton "wont really need that i think" he says. the australian is looking around his bag and other things trying to find something. all of a sudden the others hear "Oh f*ck!!!" it was the australian. he turns to the others and says "i just lost one of my grenades". the others look at each other shaking their heads.

the men land fine and arrive at the meet point. they see a man rubbing his head, like something hit him. they ask him what happened and he goes "this fudging backpack hit me from nowhere, wtf!?!" they keep walking. they see another guy rubbing his head, curiosity gets the better of them and they ask him what happened. "a bloody baton fell from the sky and hit me!" they keep walking trying not to make eye contact. next minute, some guy runs in laughing his head. "whats so funny?" the american asks. the man replies "i was just standing there a little while ago. i farted, and the house behind me blew up!"

Edited by lilmike86
No it didn't have to be done :/

no it didnt, but it was amusing :wub:

what so quiet in here!!!

a little bit of talk about Karen coming on John and everyone goes quiet??

what is everyone waiting for the video??? :wub:

:P there's a video!!! how much?

Lee :wub:

Turbo bike ftw!! This one looks pretty mild but still a shitload of fun... same deal, don't click the link if you're at work or will get in trouble for going to a site with dodginess on it... otherwise clicky

Lee :wub:

Turbo bike ftw!! This one looks pretty mild but still a shitload of fun... same deal, don't click the link if you're at work or will get in trouble for going to a site with dodginess on it... otherwise clicky

is this an out cry for some loving Marc??? whats with all the dirty sites?? Karen spending to much time on the computer?? or is she just double clicking her mouse to much??

is this an out cry for some loving Marc??? whats with all the dirty sites?? Karen spending to much time on the computer?? or is she just double clicking her mouse to much??

No I'm disappointed you haven't offered your "services" to me while Linh has been gone :wub:

Mike i'll give you sexual favours if you want me, if you dont i'll force these sexual favours on to you :wub:

see

and sloppy isnt the word :wub:

Edited by lilmike86

Four Irishmen are sitting in a pub. One asks the others if they know what is the fastest thing in the world.

The first replies: "It is blinking. Have you ever seen yourself blink? No. That's because it's so fast."

The second disagrees: It is thinking. Before you know it there's a thought in your head it's so fast"

The third disagrees: "It is electricity. No sooner have you turned the switch and the light goes on."

The fourth (who asked the question) tells them: "You are all wrong. The fastest thing in the world is diarrhea. The other night before I could blink, think or turn the light on I'd filled my pants!"

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.



  • Similar Content

  • Latest Posts

    • Shouldn't need a "base map" for anything other than guidance to ignition tuning. You just need the engine capacity right, the injector size right, and something, almost anything, for a VE map. On an NA engine, fuelling is almost completely a function of load signal & rpm. It should run and drive with a completely flat fuel map. It will be too lean under load, but that's easily fixed. We used to tune all ECUs without any base map. There were no such things (until someone had tuned a near stock engine on one, and then they had a "base map".
    • What did you actually buy/how much did it cost? When I got mine in like.. 2017...? 2019? the aim was to run Torque for gauges via ODB2 and things like Track Addict/Laptimers/Dashcam/Reversecam/Spotify etc. Mine never broke, but I wonder if you've got the same needs (it sounds like it). Cause I liked the idea of being able to do anything with it. That said, yours also cost 3x the cost of what I spent so... food for thought.  
    • For me there is a massive difference in manufacturer or big brand crippled android (Sony, Kenwood etc) vs the sort of thing I've installed here, which is basically just a tablet in DIN form factor with open Android, and the other model of course is mirroring - Android Auto/Carplay. I hate the locked down manufacturer and AA options where they decide what apps I'm allowed to install, including the Launcher but also importantly things like Ecutek (for this car) or Real Dash (Stagea) are not supported. Plus those crippled versions tend to be slower due to both overheads and lower spec hardware. On the other hand, when this breaks I'll likely be in trouble for support....but how is that different to owning an Infiniti anyway
    • Yeah, Duncan is helping sell me back to Android devices. I've hated the whole Android head units due to their speed issues. Even in my old Hyundai Kona (2022 model), it behind the scenes was Android, and slow and shitty to start up. Once running wasn't bad, but still a good 15 to 30 seconds.
    • My roof rails are off atm on the E39 until the rust is fixed. I did find another little bit of surface rust under the rails when I took them off. As @soviet_merlin said I'd just leave them alone unless you're planning on ensuring they're properly sealed. I was on the fence about leaving them off as the delete is still a thing in BMW E39's but I feel like the car is missing something (er, it is, der) with them off and I'm looking forward to putting them back on.
×
×
  • Create New...