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Public Health Warning!

inark

By inark,
in Victoria

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inark Grand Master

inark

Posted
Posted

Yes thats right... the next time you are down the shops and decide to buy a big bag of Allens Party Mix think twice. These things need a warning label on them.

On the weekend i thought i would indulge in some of my favourites like Coke Bottles, Teeth and Rasberries. If only i had known.

The first few went down a treat... sweet and sugary, just what you need when you wake up.

However, while holding my son i thought i would throw a few in at once and go down to the lounge floor where all his toys are spread out and engage in some ever entertaining block building with him.

While on the ground he came over and jumped on my guts as i was inhaling and as i knew what he was about to do i sucked in my gut and tensed my stomach (hes now over 14kgs and 80cm which for an 11 month old is quite large) which resulted in me inhaling large chunks of said lollies down the wrong pipe.

Of course he found this extreeeemely amusing and did it again for good measure and continued to piss himself laughing til he eventually fell off me.

By this time i had managed to finally clear my aorta of all foreign objects and continued on with our fun and games.

After about 5 minutes i started getting that feeling like when your getting a really bad cold or flu and the back of your nasal passage starts burning. 3 hours later the family decided we would go to the shops and whilst in the car the pain started getting really bad, more so then any other cold or flu I've had. So, as you do, i snorted back as hard as i could and sucked into my mouth one very large peice of Coke Bottle... mmmmmmmm sweetest grot ive ever sucked back.

So there it was... the cause of all that pain for 3 hours was a sweet and so called harmless 10c treat hell bent on destruction burning away at my nasal lining.

We shouldnt be sending troops to Iraq to look for WMD's, its the Allens lolly factory we need to be searching! So make sure not to partake in any physical activity while eating these melevalent little weapons of mass destruction.

Youve been warned!

(just thought id share... see i still contribute to these forums :thumbsup:)

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https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/239014-public-health-warning/
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madbung Grand Master

madbung

Posted
Posted

Funny story,very entertaining...

Just to allay any fear or confusion for other readers, the aorta is a part of the vascular system (artery) and not a part of the respiratory system.

Glad you survived to give your cheeky boy a clip over the ear :)

HEKT1K Grand Master

HEKT1K

Posted
Posted
lol

yeah i mean the other one... the oesophagus

lol mate wrong again, the oesophagus is where food SHOULD go.. sounds like the coke bottle was lodged in your trachea (or 'wind pipe')

anyway im gald you made it out alive!

RBPOWA-(TJ) Grand Master

RBPOWA-(TJ)

Posted
Posted

iv'd had the crap happen to me, burning i know food has some how worked it way up to the back of my nazel passage. but then there is the other weird thing happens , i try to had to hawk it out or snort it back that i then start to hic-up ... then it just starts to be frustraighting and anoying.... Just my 2 cents :D

you story is a good read for a laugh !

funkymonkey Grand Master

funkymonkey

Posted
Posted

I think the moral of this story is that you shouldn't be allowed to reproduce narkeh.

bonus points for nark-jnr for kicking you in the guts so early on in the game.

inark Grand Master

inark

Posted
  • Author
Posted
LoL @ the terminology confusion..

I am also craving coke bottles haha.

lol well its better then gender confusion like my little dwarfen sri lankan monkey friend... shan :(

this is why im not a doctor... id be like Dr. Nick from the Simpsons... /removes heart... "there, no more stomach pains for you"

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