Jump to content
SAU Community

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 1.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his book keeper has stolen ten million

dollars from him. This book keeper is deaf. It was considered an

occupational benefit, and why he got the job in the first place. Since

it was assumed that a deaf book keeper would not be able to hear

anything he'd ever have to testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to shake down the book keeper about his missing

$10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. The

Godfather asks the book keeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you

embezzled from me?"

The attorney, using sign language, asks the book keeper where the 10

million dollars is hidden. The book keeper signs back: "I don't know

what you are talking about." The attorney tells the Godfather: " He says

he doesn't know what you're

talking about."

That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the

bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you

don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown

briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzio's Backyard in

Queens!"

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the guts to pull the

trigger".

http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn...3414040002.html

MAN DATES GAL ON INTERNET FOR SIX MONTHS -- AND IT TURNS OUT SHE'S HIS MOTHER!

Friday December 9, 2005

By Grace Green

MARSEILLES, France -- Skirt-chasing playboy Daniel Anceneaux spent weeks talking with a sensual woman on the Internet before arranging a romantic rendezvous at a remote beach -- and discovering that his on-line sweetie of six months was his own mother!

"I walked out on that dark beach thinking I was going to hook up with the girl of my dreams," the rattled bachelor later admitted. "And there she was, wearing white shorts and a pink tank top, just like she'd said she would.

"But when I got close, she turned around -- and we both got the shock of our lives. I mean, I didn't know what to say. All I could think was, 'Oh my God! it's Mama!' "

But the worst was yet to come. Just as the mortified mother and son realized the error of their ways, a patrolman passed by and cited them for visiting a restricted beach after dark.

"Danny and I were so flustered, we blurted out the whole story to the cop," recalled matronly mom Nicole, 52. "The policeman wrote a report, a local TV station got hold of it -- and the next thing we knew, our picture and our story was all over the 6 o'clock news. "People started pointing and laughing at us on the street -- and they haven't stopped laughing since."

The girl-crazy X-ray technician said he began flirting with normally straitlaced Nicole -- who lives six miles away in a Marseilles suburb -- while scouring the Internet for young ladies to put a little pizzazz in his life.

"Mom called herself Sweet Juliette and I called myself The Prince of Pleasure, and unfortunately, neither one of us had any idea who the other was," said flabbergasted Daniel.

"The conversations even got a little racy a couple of times.

"But I really started to fall for her, because there seemed to be a sensitive side that you don't see in many girls.

"She sent me poems she had written and told me about her dreams and desires, and it was really very romantic.

"The truth is, I got to see a side of my mom I'd never seen before. I'm grateful for that."

When starry-eyed Daniel asked Sweet Juliette to send him a picture, Nicole e-mailed him a photo of a curvy, half-clad cutie she'd scanned from a men's magazine.

"The girl in the picture was so beautiful, I begged Juliette to meet me on the beach -- and Mom said yes," he recalled. "Mom says she was falling for me, too, and she just wanted to meet me, even though she knew I'd be disappointed when I saw her.

"As for me, I figured I was going to find the girl of my dreams.

"I guess that's about as wrong as I've ever been."

Daniel admits he and his mother could do little but stammer and stutter around each other for days after their cyberspace exploits came to light. And his father Paul -- Nicole's husband of 27 years -- wasn't too happy when the story hit the news and his beer-drinking buddies made him the butt of their jokes.

"Dad was ticked for a while and he forbid Mom to talk to anybody on the Internet ever again," said embarrassed Danie

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now



  • Similar Content

  • Latest Posts

    • To follow up a question from earlier too since I had the front bar off again (fking!) This is what is between the bumper and the drivers side wheel And this is the navigator side, only one thing but its a biggy! So basically....no putting coolers in the wheel arches without a lot of moving other stuff. Assuming I move to properly race prepping this car I'll take that job on and see how the computers respond to removing a whole bunch of ADAS modules
    • So I prepped the car for another track day on Wednesday (will be interesting to see coolant temps post flushing out and the larger reservoir, with a forecast of 3-14 being 20o cooler than last time I took it out). Couple of things to mention; since I am just driving the car and not taking a support vehicle, I took the rear seats out and just loaded the back up Team Trackday style. Look at all that space! To cover off removing the rear seat....it is weird (note the hybrid is probably different because it wouldn't have folding rear seats) Basically, you remove the lower seat base, very similar to a r series but it is a clip that pulls forward to release the base rather than it being bolted down. Easy Then, you need to remove the side section of the rear seat on each side. There is a 14mm head nut at the bottom of the side piece, the it slides upwards off a hook at the top to release; you also need to unhook the seatbelt from the loop at the top. Then the centre piece is weird. You need to release/fold the seats forward with the tab in the boot on each side From there, there are 2,x12mm headed bolts holding the rear of each seat to the folding bracket, under the trim between the rear seat and the boot (4x christmas tree clips there, they suck). The seat is out but you can see where the bolts attach to the bracket
    • As discussed in the previous post, the bushes in the 110 needed replacing. I took this opportunity to replace the castor bushes, the front lower control arm, lower the car and get the alignment dialled in with new tyres. I took it down to Alignment Motorsports on the GC to get this work done and also get more out of the Shockworks as I felt like I wasn't getting the full use out of them.  To cut a very long story short, it ended up being the case the passenger side castor arm wouldn't accept the brand new bush as the sleeve had worn badly enough to the point you could push the new bush in by hand and completely through. Trying a pair of TRD bushes didn't fix the issue either (I had originally gone with Hardrace bushes). We needed to urgently source another castor arm, and thankfully this was sourced and the guys at the shop worked on my car until 7pm on a Saturday to get everything done. The car rides a lot nicer now with the suspension dialled in properly. Lowered the car a little as well to suit the lower profile front tyres, and just bring the car down generally. Eternally thankful for the guys down at the shop to get the car sorted, we both pulled big favours from our contacts to get it done on the Saturday.  Also plugged in the new Stedi foglights into the S15, and even from a quick test in the garage I'm keen to see how they look out on the road. I had some concerns about the length of the LED body and whether it'd fit in the foglight housing but it's fine.  I've got a small window coming up next month where I'll likely get a little paint work done on the 110 to remove the rear wing, add a boot wing and roof wing, get the side skirt fixed up and colour match the little panel on the tail lights so that I can install some badges that I've kept in storage. I'm also tempted to put in a new pair of headlights on the 110.  Until then, here's some more pictures from Easter this year. 
    • I would put a fuel pressure gauge between the filter and the fuel rail, see if it's maintaining good fuel pressure at idle going up to the point when it stalls. Do you see any strange behavior in commanded fuel leading up to the point when it stalls? You might have to start going through the service manual and doing a long list of sensor tests if it's not the fuel system for whatever reason.
×
×
  • Create New...