Jump to content
SAU Community

A joke for the day


Tosh
 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 1.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:

You have two sheep.

You sell one and buy a ram.

Your flock multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: (Workchoices!)

You have two sheep.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the wool of four sheep.

You are surprised when the sheep drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

You go on strike because you want three sheep.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary sheep and produce 20 times the wool.

You then create clever sheep cartoon images called Sheepkimon and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and shear themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

Both die from foot and mouth.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:

You have two sheep, but you don't know where they are.

You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

You count them and learn you have five sheep.

You count them again and learn you have 42 sheep.

You count them again and learn you have 12 sheep.

You stop counting sheep and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:

You have 5,000 sheep, none of which belong to you.

You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

You have 300 people shearing them.

You claim full employment, high productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:

You have two sheep.

That one on the left is kinda cute... :yes:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Subject: Child abuse....

Federal Court Ruling from the Melbourne Age , Australia (AP) - A seven year old boy was at the center of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the New South Wales State of Origin team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share




  • Similar Content

  • Latest Posts

    • I have a question with regards to R34 GTR guards. All the info here is quite old. Useful, but old. At what point does the bumper itself become a clearance issue with wide wheels on a R34 GTR, specifically the part I've drawn in red here: All of the info that people post about implies that 285 is as far as you'd go before scrubbing becomes an issue, but they speak of hitting the inner plastic liners, not the bumper itself. Just how wide could you go if you took the liners out? Has anyone done it? I have been messing with my own car and spacers and heavily cursed my lack of planning, but I might not feel so bad if there's actually no gains to be had by going a GTR guard and front bar combination for $5k+ of money I do not have after spending about that much already on my solution which now has problems. (Woo) At least I now know why GTR guards and bumpers flare out like this over their GTT lesser cousins. I feel that in 2024, someone has gone further and attempted to run 315's or somesuch on the front of a R34 GTR. If you have, please post. If you're tried and failed for some other reason definitely post so I feel better about my mistakes
    • Genuine URAS Type R front guards in FRP. These will fit a GTT. They will only fit a GTT. If you have a GT or GTT and want wider fenders with a Z tune look up top, this is what you want. You use this with a regular GTT fitment bar. Not a GTR bar. They fit GTT guard liners and plastics, not GTR items. So if you're reading this thinking "Ah! I have a GTT or GT and want wider front guards that bolt directly on, but do not want the hassle of changing my bonnet and bumper and plastics and undertrays or anything else, this is what you want. The fitment is annoyingly perfect. I really would rather someone pick these up in person and not ship them. SE Melb.
    • Why didn't you buy the one I originally linked in QLD which was about 18k and in massively better condition with about 30k of tastefulmods holyshitmygodjesuschristman.
    • hey mate so i was in a similar position needing something better than oem for track but also wanting it to look the part, i went for APG APG Performance Brakes they are a solid price and i have had no issues with any of the components from them. the rotors and pads can be swapped out for all the usual brands just ensure you are getting the right sizes. i have just a front kit on my car. i would recommend upgrading to a bigger master cylinder as they are a bigger calliper so you can actually notice some increased braking performance 
×
×
  • Create New...