Jump to content
SAU Community

Vic joke of the day!! ROFL

JNR24

By JNR24,
in Victoria

 Share

Recommended Posts

JNR24 Proficient

JNR24

Posted
Posted

Subject: cOnS vX GTS300 vS HaBiBs R33 sKyLiNe[tRuE StOrY]

>

>

> After the race between My Cousins VL vs My Brothers Friends VL we pulled

> up at Muzzatech Performance in Coburg and we see Con there. Because I'm

> such good friends with Con I yell "Yalla Re how u go Bro" Con didn't

> answer me maybe he didn't see me.....because I'm such good friends with

> him he shoulda recognized me.

>

> So me and Spiro park our 6 second VL in a disabled parking spot cause

> Spiro is on workers comp and hurt his back lifting bricks. So we go inside

> to Con and ask

> "Do you sell da boost bro" Con goes Na bro but I got a VX GTS 300kw.

>

> Then Spiro goes V8's are shiit re...my cousins Skyline will rip it up.

> So we tell Spiros cousin to come down and have a race down Nicholson

> St.....he says the tram track give better traction for dragging.

>

> I know from my uncle that the Holden GTS is the fastest car that Holden

> has built its got 300kw so it can beat Ferraris cause its a V8 with 300kw

> and that it can beat all the Jap cars cause they only got 206kw....the GTS

> has 300kw so its much much faster and also the car has more than 300kw

> cause con fitted a exhaust so its got more like 450kw but con doesn't like

> to brag about how good his exhaust is.

>

> Soon Spiro's mate Habib rocks up with the R33. It has over 1000HP using

> stock internals. Habibs R33 is the 3.3 Liter version. The R32 only came

> with a 3.2 liter and the R34 a 3.4liter. That's why they are called

> R32-R34.

> Habib has run a 8 second pass using his G-Tech timer which is really

> accurate cause we recalibrated it for the altitude here on Bell St. He has

> stroked his to 5.0 liter and put a home made BOV on to control boost with.

> He also used 20 head gaskets stacked on top of each other to lower the

> comp ratio to 3.0-1.

> Even with his truck turbo and cooler he says it spools by 2000rpm

> Phwooaarr Sik Re it sounds like its mad. Habib has the number plates

> JETJET747 on his skyline cause it's the fastest Skyline in da world and

> deserves those plates. Our connection at the Vic Roads got us 9 letter

> number-plates. If use want des plates u have to speak to Mario from Vic

> Roads he can hook u up wif da plates.

>

> So we go to Nicholson St and cause my uncle is friends with da cops they

> will let us drag all the time....mate its cause we got so many

> connections. So Con has his family in the back of the VX and also his

> trailer cause V8's got so much torque they can drag race up hill with

> trailer and family in da back and still beat Jap cars.

>

> Yassu Re so the lights go green and Con stalls his GTS up to 7000rpm and

> launches at 8000rpm cause he has a Cop chip he can do this. The car does a

> Fullshick burnout and Habib puts his Skyline in drive and goes after

> him.....because Habib's Skyline is so powerful it just wheel-spins until

> 4th gear.......this means it's a really powerful car and really quick.

> Cars that can't do burnouts are slow cause if u race someone and they cant

> do a burnout on launch that means they are very slow.

>

> Wallah back to the race because we are not stupid we race on the tram

> tracks because its safer than anywhere else and its safe enough to reach

> 300kmph. Both cars are now going 140kmph and we haven't even changed into

> 2nd gear yet.... PWOARRR these cars are fast. Re.......we are a little bit

> behind Cons car and I say "Eh bro u gotta beat him quick put in more

> boost" So Habib puts his boost to 5-BAR which is pretty safe cause he has

> a Truck cooler. We start to catch Con and are neck to neck....&^%#! re

> this was getting close. By this stage we were doing 200kmph and if Habib

> lost I would have to bash him so I could impress Con and get him to work

> on my VL for free at mates rates

>

> Soon we hit 300kmph and by that stage we are winning...den my cousin calls

> me on da new Nokia phone. I tell him we are racing and he says he'll meet

> us at da finish line near Metro.

>

> Den I see da finish line and we are just in front and we beat con.....then

> we stop but der is a corner ahead..."sh1t re" I yell. We stop in time but

> con doesn't luckily his Holden GTS has FE2 suspension and he was able to

> take that corner at 150kpmh like the car was on rails.

>

>

> After we stop outside metro and see Con. He said his diff was playing up

> and he missed a gear otherwise he woulda beat us cause his is a 10 sec

> car. Also if he had a Monsta tacho he could of beaten us more easily. Dat

> race was sik though and cause we were such good racers we have been

> offered a job to teach the V8 Supercar drivers how to race properly.

>

> So we go drive round da CBD and dis hot b1tch see Habibs Skyline so I yell

> "Hey bitch get in da car" This pickup line worked so I rooted her in da

> back of da skyline an then had to drop her off cause I had to go visit my

> nonna in time for dinner.

Link to comment
https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/16860-vic-joke-of-the-day-rofl/
Share on other sites
Jamezilla Grand Master

Jamezilla

Posted
Posted

Haha - I think Sniffy is right.

It's funny 'cause it's true.

The guy who works in car audio at JB Prahran was telling me about how 'he rolls up to the Maccas on the WWR - sees all these Excels and Mirages' (he has a VL) and lets them hear some 'cooler noise' to show he means business.

I said - you mean a blow off valve? - "No man - coola noise!"

Doesn't Hot4s teach these kiddies anything?

inark Grand Master

inark

Posted
Posted

lmao james... did u go...

"ur mums a loser... ur dads a loser... ur a loser... and ur cars a pile of crap"

then show him ur fully sick R33 3.3litre Triple Turbo Quad Cam, Quad Carbie Shkyline GTS?

Jamezilla Grand Master

Jamezilla

Posted
Posted

Haha - yes I do love multi-point fuel injected V6 boxer engines with triple webbers. Such good economy on Shell super Optimax with added unobtainium.

Mind you - I'm pretty bad myself with the 'NissanGTRPower' sticker on the back of the Lada ;)

Zdenko Experienced

Zdenko

Posted
Posted

lol.. i like to annoy people that r like that ahhahah a guy from work use to bag me allways about my commo so i just pushed his buttons buy say fluufy dice made my car go faster and i was gonna get a big holden sticker for the window cause it gave me 30 kws more at the fly wheel hahaha

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing


  • Similar Content

  • Latest Posts

    • MissMintyR33
      R33 persistent issues. P/steering and lag/misfire

      By MissMintyR33 · Posted

      I thought that might be the case, thats what I'll start saving for. Thanks for the info 
    • jtha7
      Strange issue RB25DET wont start

      By jtha7 · Posted

      Ps i found the below forum and it seems to be the same scenario Im dealing with. Going to check my ECU coolant temp wire tomorrow    From NICOclub forum: s1 RB25det flooding at start up Thu Apr 11, 2013 7:23 am I am completely lost on this. Car ran perfectly fine when I parked it at the end of the year. I took the engine out and painted the engine bay, and put a fuel cell with an inline walbro 255 instead of the in tank unit I had last year. After reinstalling everything, the engine floods when the fuel pump primes. if i pull the fuel pump fuse it'll start, and as soon as I put the fuse back in it starts running ridiculously rich. I checked the tps voltage, and its fine. Cleaned the maf as it had some dust from sitting on a shelf all winter, fuel pressure is correct while running, but wont fire until there is less than 5psi in the lines. The fuel lines are run correctly. I have found a few threads with the same problem but no actual explanation of what fixed it, the threads just ended. Any help would be appreciated. Rb25det s1 walbro255 fuel pump nismo fpr holset hx35 turbo fmic 3" exhaust freddy intake manifold q45tb q45 maf   Re: s1 RB25det flooding at start up Fri Apr 12, 2013 5:07 am No, I didn't. I found the problem though. There was a break in one of the ecu coolant temp sensor wires. Once it was repaired it fired right up with no problems. I would have never thought a non working coolant temp sensor would have caused such an issue.
    • jtha7
      Strange issue RB25DET wont start

      By jtha7 · Posted

      Hi sorry late reply I didnt get a chance to take any pics (my mechanics on the other side of the city) but the plugs were fouled from being too rich. I noticed the MAF wasn't genuine, so I replaced it with a genuine green label unit. I also swapped in a different ignitor, but the issue remains. I've narrowed it down a bit now: - If I unplug and reconnect the fuel lines and install fresh spark plugs, the car starts right up and runs perfectly. Took it around the block with no issues - As soon as I shut it off and try to restart, it won't start again - Fuel pressure while cranking is steady around 40 psi, injectors have good spray, return line is clear, and the FPR vacuum is working. It just seems like it's getting flooded after the first start I unplugged coolant sensors to see if its related to ECU flooding but that didnt make a difference. Im thinking its related to this because this issue only started happening after fixing coolant leaks and replacing the bottom part of the stock manifolds coolant pipe. My mechanic took off the inlet to get to get to do these repairs. My mechanics actually just an old mate who's retired now so ill be taking it to a different mechanic who i know has exp with RBs to see if they find anything. If you have any ideas please send em lll give it a try. Ive tried other things like swapping the injectors, fuel rail, different fuel pressure regs, different ignitor, spark plugs, comp test and MAF but the same issue persists.
    • GTSBoy
      Freddy Plenum vs Genuine options RB25

      By GTSBoy · Posted

      My return flow is custom and puts the return behind the reo, instead of at the bottom. All my core is in the air flow, rather than losing some of it up behind the reo. I realise that the core really acts more as a spiky heatsink than as a constant rate heat exchanger, and that therefore size is important.... but mine fits everything I needed and wanted without having to cut anything, and that's worth something too. And there won't be a hot patch of core up behind the reo after every hit, releasing heat back into the intake air.
    • Murray_Calavera
      R33 persistent issues. P/steering and lag/misfire

      By Murray_Calavera · Posted

      There is a really fun solution to this problem, buy a Haltech (or ECU of your choice) and put the MAF in the bin.  I'm assuming your going to want more power in future, so you'll need to get the ECU at some stage. I'd put the new MAF money towards the new ECU. 
×
×
  • Create New...