A joke for the day

[Tosh]

I found this funny

VENTRILOQUIST

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club.

With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.

What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person.... because you and your kind continue perpetuate discrimination against, not only londes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the Blonde yells,

"You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little f*#ker sitting on your knee.

[benm]

Rofl.

[Jimbo2000]

Ha

[CerealKiller]

nice.

[hawks]

A good Irishman, John O'Reilly met regularly with his toastmasters club.

One evening they were hitting the Guinness Stout and having a contest as to who could make the best toast. John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said,

"Here's to spending the rest of me life Between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night. He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, and what was your toast?" John replied, "Here's to spending the rest of me life Sitting in church beside me wife!"

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day Mary ran into one of John toasting buddies on the Street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "Did you know that John won the prize the other night with a toast about you, Mary?"

She said, "Aye, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he's only been there twice! Once he fell asleep and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!

[Endorean]

Here is one..

A man is sitting reading his newspaper when his wife sneaks up behind

him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan.

"What was that for?" He asks.

"That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pocket with the name

Mary-Jane written on it," she replies.

"Don't be silly," he says "Two weeks ago when I went to the races.

Mary-Jane was the name of one of the horses I bet on".

His wife seemed satisfied at this and apologized.

Three days later he's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails

him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold.

When he comes around he asks, "What was that for?"

"Your F*CKIN' horse phoned!"

[Majanal]

lol

[red900ss]

rofl keep 'em coming

[benm]

Here is a funny joke,

After 20+ passes and around $2,000 spent my 1/4 time has been reduced by 0.2sec

:wassup:

[Tosh]

[Abo Bob]

That is funny... but sad too.

[Majanal]

Here is a funny joke,  

After 20+ passes and around $2,000 spent my 1/4 time has been reduced by 0.2sec

:wassup:

Thats cause Breaks are not really that much help when trying to run a fast quater! :D

[benm]

That $2,000 doesn't count the other $2,000 I spent on my brakes

Give me another 6mths, i'll be into the 13's :D

[Majanal]

lol... the quest is always there!

[B-Man]

Here's one.

Man walks into a bar

Bartender goes "G'Day Fatz"

That is all

[Tosh]

Man walks into a bar

Bartender goes "G'Day Fatz"

Fatz goes "Orange Juice Thanks

[funkymonkey]

Man walks into a bar

Bartender goes "G'Day Fatz"

Fatz goes "Orange Juice Thanks

Fatz sits down, the bartender asks Fatz "Why the glum face Fatz?"

[Majanal]

Man walks into a bar

Bartender goes "G'Day Fatz"

Fatz goes "Orange Juice Thanks

Fatz sits down, the bartender asks Fatz "Why the glum face Fatz?"

Fatz says "Kel banned me from climbing balconies"

[B-Man]

Man walks into a bar

Bartender goes "G'Day Fatz"

Fatz goes "Orange Juice Thanks

Fatz sits down, the bartender asks Fatz "Why the glum face Fatz?"

Fatz says "Kel banned me from climbing balconies"

Then Duncan comes into the bar with the megaphone blasting ......

[Tosh]