Stupidness In Japan

[Rezz]

Last night I had my two brothers and a Japanese friend (and his Aussie gf) come to my place last night for a visit, and the topic eventually came around to the stupidest stuff that I/we encountered in Japan... and even stuff that we were guilty of doing...

Example:

Japanese friend is from Ibaraki in North Osaka (not prefecture). One day while he was on they way to the train station, he came across a homeless guy on the ground next to a fence asleep and snoring loudly. The strange thing was that the homeless guys pants were down to his knees with his bare ass sticking out for all to see. It seemed as though he was trying to take a piss when he suddenly passed out... it sure as hell smelt like it! So J-friend has pity for the guy so tries to help him pull his pants up by the belt loops, when the homeless guy wakes up and starts kicking his legs frantically, so much so that one leg came out of the pants leg. The homeless guy gets up and tries to run away while shouting and yelling for help, but is slowed down by his pants, so he kicks off the pants and runs away naked from the waist down.

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I was late for an express train one night, and being Sunday it was pretty empty. I got on at the last carriage but wanted to get off up at the front carriage so I made the trek up to the front carriage. About 3 cars up I come across 4 foreigners who had managed to climb up onto the luggage racks above the seats and were laid out sleeping (or pretending to) up there...

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Another train story...

This one happened about 3 - 4 years ago when having those mountain climbers little bag things was cool to have hanging off your belt. You know? The ones that are made of nylon and climbers use them as chalk bags... anyway, my friend thinks he'll be a comedian and gets one even though he bagged out alot of people for having them. One day I see him waering the climbers bag thing and he's FILLED it with about 500 10yen coins, and when walking down the street is purposely making the thing swing from side to side droping coins out while he's making his way through crowds of people. Unbelievably some people actually pick up some coins and chase him down to give them back!

But thats not the worst... the next time I see him - on the train this time - he had been to the 'Loft' department store to buy some chalk sticks. He'd ground the chalk sticks up to powder then put it in said climbers chalk bag... next thing I know he coughs REALLY loudly, then dips his hands into the chalk bag to get chalk on them, then clapps his hands together like the Olympic weightlifters do, then grapples those rings that you hold when standing up in the train isles in a cloud of chalk dust...

Anybody else got some stories?

[Kaido_RR]

AHAHAH!

i;ve watch some crazy jap videos

one is of a bunch of guys (i think 4 or 5) that go to this school and they cant laugh if they do, they get smach with a large stick ahaha!

another one was there 5guys playing some card game in a library if u pick the one wrong card you have to do something bad... they that this oldman come in and bit one of the dudes on his ear after he took his teeth out

some classic stuff lol!

[shiro240]

Rezz -

LOL That last story is hilarious!

[Beer Baron]

ahh, the ol' foreigner playing up in japan stories. i must admit i have created a few myself but not entirely sure if I should share them. ok, will just share a few tame ones.

1: myself and a friend (not named unless he wants to be) were in Chiba city. spent the night drinking (lots), eating etc. we go to leave to head back to Chiba-minato but realise that it's late at trains have stopped. I decide that we could perhaps borrow some bikes and ride home. we walk past the station to where there are loads of bikes. nearly all are locked (dunno why? lol) but eventually we get 2 that are not. mine even has a basket which i use to hold my asahi and up garage shopping bag (from earlier in the day). as we are walking to get the bikes my friend tries to get over this barrier on the side of the rode and stacks it onto the street, then decides to lie there laughing. eventually we get on the bikes and i discover than mine has a flat tyre (d'oh) and his has 2 flats... anyway we ride along ringing our bells like mad, and we are riding along the middle of the road. my plan is to follow the mono-rail line above us all the way back to where our hotel is. everything is going swell until i come to the freeway on ramp. my friend dismounts and carries his bike up all the stairs to the pedestrian over pass. i foolishly continue down the on-ramp and onto the freeway. now picture a 6foot 2 white guy, riding a bike with a flat tyre, with an up-garage bag in the basket riding along ringing the bell down the freeway in chiba... anyway i get off at the off ramp and we continue home. nothing more happens on the way. so all in all it was not bad, and much cheaper than a cab.

now that i read back on that it's not nearly as funny as it is to me. but it's a story none the less.

[dodgybrooks]

I taught a Japanese mate how to say 'Suck my dick if you wanna live' one night at a concert. He went round saying it to everyone until he got his nose broken by a chick who must have understood. He was drumming for one of the bands who was playing that night. I enjoyed seeing the fruits of my work up on stage with a bloody red shirt and the sleeve of his jumper tied around his face trying to keep his nose from falling off. He quit after the 1st song, got smacked around a bit by the singer who was well pissed off, and took himself to hospital.

[Beer Baron]

lol, you are a top friend! sounds like a fun night for everyone.

[Blitz]

ahh, the ol' foreigner playing up in japan stories. i must admit i have created a few myself but not entirely sure if I should share them. ok, will just share a few tame ones.

1: myself and a friend (not named unless he wants to be) were in Chiba city. spent the night drinking (lots), eating etc. we go to leave to head back to Chiba-minato but realise that it's late at trains have stopped. I decide that we could perhaps borrow some bikes and ride home. we walk past the station to where there are loads of bikes. nearly all are locked (dunno why? lol) but eventually we get 2 that are not. mine even has a basket which i use to hold my asahi and up garage shopping bag (from earlier in the day). as we are walking to get the bikes my friend tries to get over this barrier on the side of the rode and stacks it onto the street, then decides to lie there laughing. eventually we get on the bikes and i discover than mine has a flat tyre (d'oh) and his has 2 flats... anyway we ride along ringing our bells like mad, and we are riding along the middle of the road. my plan is to follow the mono-rail line above us all the way back to where our hotel is. everything is going swell until i come to the freeway on ramp. my friend dismounts and carries his bike up all the stairs to the pedestrian over pass. i foolishly continue down the on-ramp and onto the freeway. now picture a 6foot 2 white guy, riding a bike with a flat tyre, with an up-garage bag in the basket riding along ringing the bell down the freeway in chiba... anyway i get off at the off ramp and we continue home. nothing more happens on the way. so all in all it was not bad, and much cheaper than a cab.

now that i read back on that it's not nearly as funny as it is to me. but it's a story none the less.

Anyone know where to find a tyre pump in Chibaminato?

[R-sanichi]

AAHHH , Rezz, the money falling out and polite, concerned citizens take their time to give back the 10s of yen. Dont you just love that about our 2nd home?

Me and my mate Tom took a trip from our home town in west Japan to visit a mate in Tokyo. we made it to his local station (Kikijyoji 45 mins from Shinjuku) and as we waited during peak time, Tom thought it funny (and me too) to do the robot dance and call out "(in a robot voice) I am a robot", repeatedly. Among the busy businessmen/women and students, NONE of them battered and eye-lid! they avoided eye-contact and passed him off as crazy gaikokujin-san. we tried it later at Shinjuku and we crakced a few smiles on the locals faces.

And there was that time that .........

I'd just arrived in Japan, ready to work for the all mighty NOVA "We love the leader", and hadnt bought a bike yet. One of my co-workers lent me one of his. I know he didnt leagally aquire this bike, so i was always checking behind in case of police. One night i finished work, went out and un-locked the "borrowed" mamma cha, and there were undercover police officers waiting for me!

I had nowhere to run. so i walked to the police station with them, i called my buddy on my kei tai and asked for help cos he could speak japanese. It turns out that they detained him with me for over two hours. They wanted to know who my friend was that leant me the bike. lots of questions, and they called in an off duty officer from another town who could speak english. He was prtty anrgy! So, we used another NOVA teacher as the scape goat cos he'd just left the country. The Police even called my manager and she was a real bitch, so i knew i was in shit. but after leaving the police box, she said (in japanese) boys will be boys, and smiled at me. I was very lucky - I could have had my visa cancelled and been sent back to Aus.

[2rismo]

when having those mountain climbers little bag things was cool to have hanging off your belt.

No.

[Beer Baron]

yes, I hear getting pinned for bike theft borrowing is pretty hardcore. Definately lucky not to have your visa cancelled and been sent on your way home. what are those bikes worth anyway? 1 man? 2 man tops I reckon for a real flash one with basket and bell and frilly things on the handlebars.

[R-sanichi]

yes, I hear getting pinned for bike theft borrowing is pretty hardcore. Definately lucky not to have your visa cancelled and been sent on your way home. what are those bikes worth anyway? 1 man? 2 man tops I reckon for a real flash one with basket and bell and frilly things on the handlebars.

This one had gears, hub-powered lamp and front basket and rear rack. A rolls Royce. I rekon new, about 20,000yen.

And, the things was that I didnt steal it myself - it was actually lent to me. The most suprising thing for the Police was, that I had two keys for the "hoop" style rear wheel lock, and the thing came from a town that was a 30minute train ride away!

[Beer Baron]

lol, i guess your friend follows the dont shit where you eat motto. sounds like a pretty flash bike though. I was never so lucky when my "friends" "lent" me their bikes. they were unlocked for a reason...

[akeenan]

actions speak louder than words

[Rezz]

^^^^ AAAAHHH hahahaha! Thats it! LOL

Where did you get that pic? Is that you Andrew??

[shiro240]

LOL @ pic!

Speaking of bikes...

What's the deal with all this? They cost an effin arm and a leg, weigh about 90lbs, and look like they were made in some ex-Soviet Republic. On top of that, they get stolen about as frequently as your garbage gets picked up by the city.

I have a feeling that this is some Yakuza-like racket, with all these people buying and selling stolen bikes to pay for their flash, new VIP body kits for their Cedrics or Celsiors.

Can anyone confirm this? Rezz?

[R-sanichi]

well, your basic one only costs around Y7000 (a Whale Land), but if you want gears, the price goes up cos they dont use a de-railing system. Its done inside the hub/axle of the bike. Its good, cos u can change gears without peddling at all.

So anyway, what do the city do with all the unclaimed bikes??? The ones that get stacked up in yards after they've had the red tag attaced to the handle bars. I guess they are crushed for metal like the metal plant near my in-laws place crushes imprezas, crowns, skylines, etc. after they pass the use-by date.

Edited October 11, 2006 by R-sanyon

[Blitz]

actions speak louder than words

LOL! Top photo

[akeenan]

Where did you get that pic? Is that you Andrew??

this pic was taken on the hanzomon sen, i took the photo of my friend

[JaiJai]

funny....good stuff