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You're in a tough spot mate.

What does your GF do? If she has a career, then show her the options that melbourne has to offer, if not, show her what the vic uni's and tafe's are offering. If she's moving for career as well as for you, then she really has no basis to argue, because even if she's saying that you're just going to dump her or whatever, she'll still be moving forward, and have either a top job or a qualification at the end.

Of course, she'll probably ask why she can't do the courses in brisvegas, but unless she's doing animal husbandry, what's the point.

Besides, in melbourne, we have to spend time indoors, so studying is easier. In Queensland, when it's warm (i.e. 9 months of the year) and you have a choice of A) studying or B) going to the beach and drinking, which line would you be in?

I think going 1 on 1 is not advisable, as it'll just escalate things. Unreasonable people cannot see any viewpoint but their own. Even if you have a completely logical and watertight viewpoint, she could just go jerry springer on you and keep spouting nonsense.

Or, you could be nice and buy her a DVD. I suggest "Throw momma from the train" I have not actually seen this film, but the title seems apt.

Long distance Relationships are so damn hard. I had an American Girlfriend for a year and a bit. Spent a year here, 6 months abroad, in the end we just couldn't make it work, neither of us were really ready to live in another country permanently, but it seems like you have a chance here to make it work, as long as SHE can get her mother to back off.

The stupid part is that parents who try to run their kids lives ALWAYS end up driving their kids away eventually.

Good luck with it all.

PS: Maybe you should show her you're really serious.... you know, show her how much you care for her..... How you trust her implicitly.... I know it's a big step, and not one to be taken lightly, but maybe, just maybe.... you could let her drive your skyline?

just a thought.

Just knock her up. That will make her come down. Nah just kidding.

If the mother in law is like this, then I'd say that she would be more of a pain in the ass if you lived up there. Just tell your gf to come down for 3 months, then a little more next time etc etc. Like others have said, her mum will eventually get used to the idea.

If You're really, REALLY good at confrontation & people-skills, I say call the M.I.L on what she's doing, face to face. Nail that beeeaatch down on what she's doing to your g/f with the guilt trips etc, ask her why She's trying to stop her daughter being happy.

Or, do something else ! ! (so far I've been blessed with non-mental g/f's families - I got no more advice ! )

Fly up there, kiss your girl on the mouth, and then turn around and kick her mum in the flange!

Not the easiest way to go about it but at least there will be no misunderstanding your feelings.

Good luck with your dilemma, and may the swarchz be with you. :sleep:

to me it seems like the mother inlaw is jelous of her daughter so why not do them both. after all sharing love is caring, then if the father inlaw starts getting jelousy then send him my way im in for abit of a violent sex....im sorry if i offended anyone in any way after all it is late at nite as im writing this im just in a careless mood.

Hmm.. well I've spotted the main problem - you're an accountant. What parent in their right mind wants their pride and joy to marry a bean counter? (soooo just kidding mate :P )

Anyways, I've been in this exact situation before and here's my advice :kiss:

When you do see your g/f, make her the happiest woman in the world. For some reason, flowers work. You can get flowers in any garden, anywhere - but when they're strapped together with some cellophane, they become a very powerful tool.

When she opens up, listen attentively and sound like you really care about what she has to say - this can be hard, but it's worth it. Make empathetic noises, these really help. Don't seek to understand, or your brain will melt. It's all about the right noises at the right times.

Don't speak ill of her Mum, make it sound like you're trying to understand what her Mum is going through, even though you just want to rant about the evil b1tch and how you wanna kick her in the junk.

Every now and then, allow your frustration with the situation to show through with comments like "if only she could see how happy we make each other", "why can't she see that we're so right for each other"? "She has to come around eventually, maybe when we have kids she'll calm down". An example of what not to say would be "oh f**k the stupid f**king b1tch in her stupid fat arse".

When your g/f eventually puts you both on the mental scales, which she inevitably will do - you'll come up loaded with positives and "he makes me happy, Mum will come around eventually". Her Mum will come up loaded with "She's a pita and I can get away from her and she will eventually come round, she has to, she's my Mum and if she doesn't, f**k her, I shouldn't have to put up with this cr@p".

It's been my experience that a girl will almost always choose the guy who makes her happy over the parent/s that make her miserable. In some cases, she'll choose the guy BECAUSE he makes her parents miserable :P

Finally - there are many other wimmins in the sea. Some of them can be located conveniently close by and if you strike it really lucky, their mother may be mute and live in another country.

I hope this helps.

  • 3 months later...

Hey all, just thought I would update you on how things panned out........................ after a long while, her Mum backed off and has been nice to her, I still am not allowed in the house! My girlfriend has got a job down here, and is moving down next weekend, so it all turned out ok!

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