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from crazythoughts.com

Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?

If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change

their name to Knockers?

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Can you make a candle out of your earwax?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?

Are marbles made of marble?

Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?

If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)

Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Can you get cornered in a round room?

Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?

Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?

Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??

Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom?

Can mute people burp?

What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?

Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

Why can't you get a tan on your palms?

Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been

free?

If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to

people that work nights?

yea seen that one b4 "if we put our heads together, we'd just stay home forever" hehe

hahaha yeah, wonder who comes up with all these ideas lol

there is lots of other stuff at www.funnyjunk.com

hahah yeah i hate em lol. My brother always looks at them. Sometimes u play games where you really have to concentrate, so you lean towards the screen and then after this face pops up and scared the hell outta ya. :D

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