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Today tonights buzz word, secret page

Veilside R33
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Veilside R33 Veteran

Veilside R33

Posted
Posted

im in my dodgy reporter mode........This is the scandal they did'nt want you to see! our red hot team has managed to track down this secret internet website that contains all of today tonights and ACA's secret buzz words!

Feisty: Short, old female

Flamboyant: Homosexual

Controversial: He did something bad but we're not sure what

Scandal-plagued: Guilty

Informed source: Reads the newspaper

Confirmed bachelor: see "Flamboyant"

War-torn: We can't find it on a map

Venerable: Should be dead but isn't (eg: Gough Whitlam)

Knowledgable observer: The reporter

Knowledgable observers: The reporter and the person at the next desk

Self-styled: Phony

Guru: see "Self-styled"

Screen Legend: Reporter is too young to remember his movies

Teen idol: Reporter is too old to have heard of him

According to published reports: We got scooped

Embattled: He should quit

Troubled youth: arsonist

Scrappy: a runt

Beloved: Someone who's been around so long no one can stand them any more (eg: Bert Newton)

Hero firefighter: He put out a fire

Hero cop: He got killed

Honor student: Dead kid registered for classes somewhere

Recently: We lost the press release

First in the modern history of ... : no entries in NewsLink

Never: Not in NewsLink or Google

Source who spoke on condition of anonymity: PR flack

Prestigious: has indoor plumbing

Exclusive neighborhood/school/club: the reporter can't get in

Mean streets: slums

Street-wise: Hasn't been hit by a bus so far

Allegedly: He did it but we can't prove it

Shocking revelation: leaked on a slow news day

Highly placed source: one who would talk

Supermodel: her picture was printed somewhere

Beautiful: a woman who's been savagely murdered

Blonde: see "beautiful"

Reportedly: we stole this bit of information

Intensely private: Not promoting anything right now

Rarely interviewed: Promoting something right now

Highbrow: boring

Family Values: right wing idiot

Progressive: left wing idiot

Couldn't be reached for comment: the reporter didn't call until after 5pm

Legendary: about to die

Unclear, uncertain, unknown at press time: no one will tell us

Plucky: someone who is very young, very old, or very short who is ambulatory

Brutally raped: raped

Savagely murdered: murdered

Celebrity: He has a publicist

Superstar: He has a publicist and an agent

Modest, well-kept home: at least the ****roaches are dead

Exclusive: We were the only ones who returned the PR flack's calls

Gentleman bandit: he wore shoes instead of sneakers

Police task force: cops who were working on no-publicity cases yesterday

Elite: see prestigious

Conflagration: what was a fire in the first paragraph, a blaze in the second and an inferno in the third

Outspoken: Rude man

Strident: Rude woman

Effervescent: She won't shut up

Shapely: face like the back of a bus

Full-figured: Tits out to here

Statuesque: Tits out even further

Diminutive: under 5 feet tall

Petite: emaciated

Sexy: better looking than reporter's mate

Dogged by character issue: He screwed a floozy

Political Action Committee contribution: bribe

Moderate: fence-straddler

Long-time companion: they had sex

Socialite: unemployed woman who lives in Toorak

Heiress: as above, but able to hire a pricey divorce lawyer

Good Samaritan: Too stupid to run away

Innocent bystander: Too slow to run away

Tearful: Could have been crying

Choked up: Definitely could have been crying

Weeping: Tear spotted in one eye

Entrepreneur: Hasn't made it yet, but we're doing a nice story about him

Mogul: Has made it, and we're doing a hatchet job

Mega-mogul: Has made it, and is in process of losing it

Activist: Will talk to press

Stunned: couldn't give a decent quote

Dapper: Hasn't bought new clothes in 20 years

Hot-button issue: only editors care about it

Towing industry expose: editor got a parking ticket

With news wire services: no original reporting whatsoever

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https://www.sau.com.au/forums/topic/75481-today-tonights-buzz-word-secret-page/
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Bullet32 Veteran

Bullet32

Posted
Posted

LOL thats gold Andrew but you forgot a few -

*Hoon: Male driver ander 25*

*Unsocial behaviour: Driving 6-7km over the speed limit*

*Burnout: Slight tyre chirp under accelaration*

*Disrespect for the law: Young driver Saying "It wasnt me officer"*

*Young hooligan: Person aged under 25*

*Old hasbeen: Ray Martin*

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