Stimulus Package

[paulr33]

read the URL in the first post, it tells you

[Rekin]

woo time to buy some Australian made bridgestones or bilsteins/whiteline suspension

Doing my bit for the country! lol

[jezza boii]

With an income of around $30k I better be getting this package.

Will finally be able to get my car serviced (hasn't been serviced since it hit Australian shores!) and pay off my parking fine

Hmmm.. then I've still got some left over.. I guess the genuine aussie brothels is the way to go Thanks for the idea guys

[Samon]

From an email I got the other day...

This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. No, they are borrowing it from China . Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the economy by spending your stimulus cheque wisely:

If you spend that money at K-Mart, all the money will go to China .

If you spend it on petrol it will go to the Arabs and Al Queda

If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).

If you buy a car it will go to Japan, Korea or the USA.

If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India

If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan

If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.

And none of it will help the Australian economy.

We need to keep that money here in Australia. You can keep the money in Australia by spending it on beer (domestic only of course!) since that's pretty much the only industry still here in Australia!

And here's some proof that Telstra is recognising the financial crisis and helping out by reducing the cost of many of their overpriced items...

[i2icho]

Just went out and bought ourselfs a 50 inch samsung plasma Thanks mr rudd

[W0rp3D]

Just went out and bought ourselfs a 50 inch samsung plasma Thanks mr rudd

I want the 60", guess im going to have to wait for the next lot of hand outs

[SS8_Gohan]

should have spent it on a service

[R33_Dude]

Who wants to stimulate my package?

Anyone?

[sneki81]

well i know mines definetly going into the economy.

mr rudd is paying to have my sideskirts and pods painted and fitted.

thanks kev

[Phatboy]

Haha, that would be great, the government giving everyone vouchers which must be spent on performance mods

Yep, that's the point lol. Like to see the cops defect 2 million Victorians now

...says the guy who owns an R34 GTR

... says the guy who earns 100k+

And that's why he needs the money

Exactly. You understand my plight.

[Phatboy]

Your 100% right, it's passed so let's hope the majority of people spend it on things that will benefit the australian economy and not just send it straight overseas. Australian services like brothels are something we should all support

what happens if the brothels contains illegal asian workers? do we stay clear of those ones? i would like to do my part in boosting the Australian economy even if that means restricting myself to certain brothels. We all have to make sacrifices.

You have a valid concern, as the illegal asian sex workers are likely to send all the money back to there familys overseas. I recommend the government certifies brothels as "100% Australians Whores", so we know our money is going striaght back into our economy

we should wright a letter to the rudd government about our concerns im sure he will launch an awesome website about where to go for aussie whores. just like his other cool sites www.grocerychoice.gov.au www.fuelwatch.com.au www.justice.vic.gov.au/camerascutcrashes

soon there will be www.trueaussiewhores.gov.au

Who wants to stimulate my package?

Anyone?

OMG.... just too funny

[Jay_R33]

i read that America isint giving their resiedents any money but spending it on stuff liek infrastucture so people can get jobs building the infrastucture...IMO thats an OK idea but we are getting a better deal...

im either gona buy rims or a front bar not sure yet or $900 worth of wii games lol jokes

[justin911]

we all would of gotten the same amount (and or higher) each yr from tax cuts as oposed to just once off i rekon

you ppl sicken me

Edited February 15, 2009 by justin911

[Ant97GTR]

I too do not believe this is the best way to stimulate the economy....sure some people will spend it creating/keeping jobs but others will save it or pay off debts which really does nothing to stimulate the economy. As for the junkies who will no doubt blow it on drugs don't even get me started on that!

Anyway a thought provoking email I received...

A Boss Who Tells It Like It Is

Date: Wed, 4th February 2009

To All My Valued Employees,

There have been some rumblings around the office about the future of this company, and more specifically, your job. As you know, the economy has changed for the worse and presents many challenges. However, the good news is this: The economy doesn't pose a threat to your job. What does threaten your job; however, is the changing political landscape in this country.

However, let me tell you some little tidbits of fact which might help you decide what is in your best interests.

First, while it is easy to spew rhetoric that casts employers against employees, you have to understand that for every business owner there is a back story. This back story is often neglected and overshadowed by what you see and hear. Sure, you see me park my Subaru Outback outside.

You've seen my big home at last year's Christmas party. I'm sure all these flashy icons of luxury conjure up some idealised thoughts about my life.

However, what you don't see is the back story.

I started this company 28 years ago. At that time, I lived in a 2 bedroom flat for 3 years. My entire living area was converted into an office so I could put forth 100% effort into building a company, which by the way, would eventually employ you.

My diet consisted of baked beans, stew and soup because every dollar I spent went back into this company. I drove a rusty Toyota Corolla with a wonky transmission. I didn't have time to go out with women. Often times, I stayed home on weekends, while my friends went out drinking and partying. In fact, I was married to my business -- hard work, discipline, and sacrifice.

Meanwhile, my friends got jobs. They worked 38 hours a week and made a modest $45,000 a year and spent every dime they earned. They drove flashy cars and lived in expensive homes and wore fancy designer clothes. Instead of hitting David Jones for the latest hot fashion item, I was trolling through the discount stores extracting any clothing item that didn't look like it was birthed in the 70's. My friends refinanced their mortgages and lived a life of luxury. I, however, did not. I put my time, my money, and my life into a business with a vision that eventually, some day, I too, will be able to afford these luxuries my friends supposedly had.

So, while you physically arrive at the office at 9am, mentally check in at about noon, and then leave at 5pm, I don't. There is no "off" button for me.

When you leave the office, you are done and you have a weekend all to yourself. I unfortunately do not have the freedom. I eat, and breathe this company every minute of the day. There is no rest. There is no weekend.

There is no happy hour. Every day this business is attached to my hip like a

1 year old special-needs child. You, of course, only see the fruits of that garden -- the nice house, the Subaru, the vacations... you never realise the back story and the sacrifices I've made.

Now, the economy is falling apart and I, the guy who made all the right decisions and saved his money, have to bail-out all the people who didn't.

The people that overspent their pay suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed a decade of my life for.

Yes, business ownership has its benefits but the price I've paid is steep and not without wounds.

Unfortunately, the cost of running this business, and employing you, is starting to eclipse the threshold of marginal benefit and let me tell you

why:

I am being taxed to death and the government thinks I don't pay enough.

I have state taxes. Federal taxes. Property taxes. Sales and use taxes.

Payroll taxes. Workers compensation. Unemployment taxes. Taxes on taxes.

I have to hire an accountant to manage all these taxes and then guess what? I have to pay taxes for employing him. Government mandates and regulations and all the accounting that goes with it, now occupy most of my time. On Oct 15th, I wrote a cheque to the Australian tax Office for $288,000 for quarterly taxes. You know what my "stimulus" cheque was?

Zero. Zip. Zilch.

The question I have is this: Who is stimulating the economy? Me, the guy who has provided 14 people good paying jobs and serves over 2,200,000 people per year with a flourishing business? Or, the single mother sitting at home pregnant with her fourth child waiting for her next welfare cheque?

Obviously, government feels the latter is the economic stimulus of this country.

The fact is, if I deducted (Read: Stole) 50% of your pay you'd quit and you wouldn't work here. I mean, why should you? That's nuts. Who wants to get rewarded only 50% of their hard work? Well, I agree which is why your job is in jeopardy.

Here is what many of you don't understand ... to stimulate the economy you need to stimulate what runs the economy. Had the government suddenly mandated to me that I didn't need to pay taxes, guess what? Instead of depositing that $288,000 into the Canberra black-hole, I would have spent it, hired more employees, and generated substantial economic growth. My employees would have enjoyed the wealth of that tax cut in the form of promotions and better salaries. But you can forget it now.

When you have a comatose man on the verge of death, you don't defibrillate and shock his thumb thinking that will bring him back to life, do you? Or, do you defibrillate his heart? Business is at the heart of Australia and always has been. To restart it, you must stimulate it, not kill it. But the power brokers in Canberra believe the poor of Australia are the essential drivers of the Australian economic engine. Nothing could be further from the truth and this is the type of change you can keep.

So where am I going with all this?

It's quite simple.

If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, my reaction will be swift and simple. I fire you. I fire your co-workers. You can then plead with the government to pay for your mortgage, your 4WD and your child's future.

Frankly, it isn't my problem any more.

Then, I will close this company down, move to another country, and retire.

You see, I'm done. I'm done with a country that penalises the productive and gives to the unproductive. My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed, and with it, will be my citizenship.

So, if you lose your job, it won't be at the hands of the economy; it will be at the hands of politicians who swept through this country and changed its financial landscape forever. If that happens, you can find me sitting on a beach, retired, and with no employees to worry about....

Signed,

Your boss

[Snowman]

how do you know if you're eligible

i want some free money

There is no free money you idiots. We are going to have to pay for it and in the end we will pay MORE than what we get given.

Short term gain but long term loss. It's a stupid concept by stupid people for stupid people.

[phunky_monkey]

i believe short term stimulus packages are not the answer.

overall tax cuts is a better way to address the current economic issues in my opinion.

Agreed.

I'm not a fan of this package. Don't get me wrong, I'll take it, but I don't think we should be doing it.

As Snowy has said above, this is not free money.

Ant, good letter.

[adznight]

There is no free money you idiots. We are going to have to pay for it and in the end we will pay MORE than what we get given.

Short term gain but long term loss. It's a stupid concept by stupid people for stupid people.

Thats a but harsh, you may think it's a stupid concept but there's not need to call the recipents stupid people. You're just sore becuase you get nothing and have to foot the bill.

[RBPOWA-(TJ)]

haha

well i dont smoke or drink , so if there putting taxes up on those to earn some cash back. im pretty good.

other things will go up, (havent read the whole thread just waiting for the cash) but smokes and drinks is a major income for the government fuel also but everyone needs it.

show me the money

[Ant97GTR]

Thats a but harsh, you may think it's a stupid concept but there's not need to call the recipents stupid people. You're just sore becuase you get nothing and have to foot the bill.

Not quite true there adz....the letter I cut and pasted into my last post sums it up...we will all pay for it in the end. Taxes will have to go up to pay for it all which will hit high earners and business. This may well result in cost cutting which means the lower paid workers loose their jobs.

[Snowman]

Thats a but harsh, you may think it's a stupid concept but there's not need to call the recipents stupid people. You're just sore becuase you get nothing and have to foot the bill.

Rubbish - I get the full thing. But I wasn't saying the recipents are stupid - I'm saying the people who think it is free money are stupid.

I personally wish that since we have to get it that this could be like a credit card where we all have the option of paying back our stimulus in X number of days and then we won't get charged any interest on it. But we don't have that option and so we are all going to get financially raped over it.

Stupid.