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Da Nang, Sapa (its not cold, "cold" in Vietnam is under 30) are pretty touristy places.

Yes you can hire a bike anywhere.

WARNING: TRAFFIC IN VIETNAM IS INSANE.

I only hired a bike when I was WELL in no-mans land. I mean WELL in no-mans land. Hiring a bike in a city is ... man, need massive balls for that.

Taxis push people on scooters out of the way with the car. That's what its like.

Haha just crossing the road is a bitch if you're not gutsy enough to trust they'll stop for you. We looked up the statistics when we were there and it was something like 30 people die a day in traffic accidents. Amazing how the constant sound of incessant tooting gets accomodated by your senses.

Took this one from a cafe

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Man, wouldn't wanna be the bloke in the orange in the middle... imagine trying to take a quick turn with Seaworld on the back of your bike

you would be surprised how well they miss each other....... also how well they contact each other :P

But surprisingly less hits than you would think

We had a private tour guide for each town. Told them to take us to places he/she would eat (15min taxi rides out of the city, down alley ways, eating off plastic furniture & only white guys in sight)

Also used them to haggle on items to cut out the headache.

If you for a short stay and want maximum exposure, I recommend a private tour guide.

Private as in a one on one tour? Or as in a small local guy taking on small groups?

Isn't one on one, like awkward at times since you just want to chill by yourself rather than having a bum chum all the time?

Private as in a one on one tour? Or as in a small local guy taking on small groups?

Isn't one on one, like awkward at times since you just want to chill by yourself rather than having a bum chum all the time?

Yeah one-on-one. (My group of 4 + 1 tour guide)

Depends on who you get, all our different tour guides were great fun. Either same age as us, or old characters who were a laugh. They navigated us through all the annoying sellers & ordered food for us not on the menu etc.

Last thing you want to be worrying about on a holiday is which place is safe to eat or which way to go without looking like a lost tourist.

The days are usually planned to be full-on so there isn't any awkward time. We would step off the domestic flights and have a van waiting for us with driver and private tour guide for the whole day.

What he said^

I was lucky enough to have a couple of local girls we met at a bar in Hanoi lead us around for the rest of our trip. Was waiting for a moment they were gonna rob us or tell us we owed them x dollars but it never happened lol; they even paid for some of the stuff we did. Genuinely awesome people whom we still chat to. I don't know how rare finding that is, but if you can, try and make friends with locals or get a tour guide who goes off the beaten track. Or ask cab drivers. It felt much more like living there when you didn't have to think about where you should go / plan it cause someone was taking you around. And going to places I never would have thought to go cause I wouldn't know where to look for them; word of mouth shit etc. We went to the movies which I'd never do on a holiday but even that was a different experience however similar it was to home.

Anyway you'll enjoy it if you want to, cause more important than anything is the personality of the person going I say. You can do all of the above and hate it if you're a sourpuss or closed to it all. People still enjoy the bogan Bali shit lol

And buy one of these for 10,000 dong

jianzi.gif

Then kick it around like hacky sack with some local kids, they are all fking ninjas at this shit, even their parents

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Need the advice of the Wastelands. Missus wants to go to Bali with me and another couple. Not to go anywhere near the touristy areas and instead travel the supposed beautiful country.

How realistic is this in you fellas minds? Is there still lots of natural beauty to be seen or is the whole island pretty much devoted to Tourism? Call me Naive I don't care, that's why I want to get out there somewhere!

Vietnam and Vanuatu were also on the list, but she doesn't think she can afford them compared to Bali.

go to syria and iraq, shell never hassle you for an overseas trip again.

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go to syria and iraq, shell never hassle you for an overseas trip again.

lulz.

i found the tigris river an absolute delight, and some of the best fishing on the planet!

where else can one find the lesser spotted severed human head?

amazing. i can reccomend a great travel agent as well, you will need to do a small amount of work and have a little experience in the field, but in return you get a six month holiday, and a sizeable amount of money!

now pair that with the once in a lifetime activity's, such as......

aforementioned human fishing on the tigris/Euphrates

the ability to play live action battlefield3 with actual reaper drones and real life fatalities!

no more dodging dog "land mines" on the beach in sorrento, dodge actual real life anti tank land mines that have been there 30 years in the fantasticly golden iraqi sand!

there are also plenty of real life work out scenarios for you fitness losers fanatics!

run as fast as you can to dodge bullets being thrown at you by an angry man in a dish dash!

practice those "dead lifts" by actually lifting a dead american on to your shoulder!

work on those core muscles as you carry around 70kg in materials and ammo in sweltering 45c heat!

now for testimonials

"i had a great time. killed me some dune coons"

brian "redneck" spilner

"the only thing i regret was that drunken night with the camel"

steve "f**ker" wright.

what are you waiting for! call today!

alternatively, google iraq private security, or, im a redneck christian who wants to murder brown babies.

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